Sometimes, Always, Never - Interview in Style

I've written about Interview Fashion before, but as the (unsuccessful) job hunt is on my mind, I thought it would make a pretty good Sometimes, Always, Never. I have been loving these interviews because I get to mix things up in my wardrobe and keep things from getting boring. This is my favorite of my outfits so far.

Black Blazer - Forever XXI

Polka Dot Blouse - Old Navy

Black Pencil Skirt - Cozy

Red heels - Forever Young Shoes

Gold Watch - Michael Kors

SOMETIMES

Heels are a great way to seem taller, older and more professional. But there are specifics here:

1. Closed-toe. Trust me.
2. 3 inches or less. You aren't walking the Strip.
3. Muted or Neutral colors. Are we in a club?
4. You HAVE to be able to walk in them. Meaning you've worn them many times before this interview, they're broken in and you like them. Everyone can tell if you stumble or wince into the room. Yikes.

Makeup. Look fresh and put together. Look awake. I usually do my longer, more thorough makeup routine, but I don't do anything "new." An interview is not the place to try that new cheek stain. Go with your basic routine, plus maybe a little extra attention to looking great. The confidence will help you.

ALWAYS

Black. You shouldn't be surprised.

Blazers. Simplest way to look polished and professional.

Something that you LOVE. Whether it's your favorite blouse, your lucky earrings or your favorite (moderate) hairstyle, you'll feel happier and more confident.

NEVER

Jeans. I don't care if you're interviewing at a construction site. Dress your lazy self up.

Shirts with logos, pictures, writing, etc. It looks so incredibly unprofessional.

Excessive perfume.

Loud nail polish. I know this seems like it wouldn't be that big of a deal. We once interviewed a girl with a neon turquoise set and that's all we could talk about after the interview. She was not hired.

Red lipstick or sparkly gloss. Similar to nail polish, it is distracting and usually done wrong. You aren't a lady of the night. Just go with a nude lip.

Basic Bottom Line - Don't let anything in your physical appearance be more memorable than your personality and answers.

Surprise Me - A Dating Horror in Provo

Surprise date:

Noun - a date between two parties wherein one of the parties is unaware that said event is a "date," usually believing the event to be a "group" activity.

Verb - to lure an unsuspecting party into a "date" situation by deceptive means.

The surprise date. Bread-and-butter of the over-eager in the dating world. Most of you have probably experienced the surprise date, hopefully not on the "surprising" end. You really can't make it out of Provo dating culture without this rite of passage.

When I was living in Provo, right before I met the Beard, I was hanging out with this group of guys. They all lived together and were mission buddies. We liked the same shows and movies, and they liked to cook, so I liked hanging out there. I've always been most comfortable with a group of all guys. I was good friends with all of them and really enjoyed hanging out there. One of the boys I suppose took a liking to me, and started being more proactive about inviting me to stuff. But it was always "We are all ...." or "Me and the guys...." or "A bunch of us got tickets to...."

Until he stopped delivering on those invitations. After a couple of weird one-on-ones, he asked me to go to his mission reunion with him AND THE GUYS. At first, I thought nothing of it. I was good friends with these dudes, and I'd heard their stories about other mission people for months now. Then he asked if he could introduce me as HIS GIRLFRIEND. Um, exclamation point?

From that point on, I was careful. Or so I thought. He would invite me to come watch a movie, and I'd make sure they were all going to be there. But I'd show up and then, as though by previous command, all the guys except the Surprise Dater would leave the room and we'd end up watching a movie alone.

From that point on, I was cynical. I only hung out one more time - a dinner at a sushi restaurant for one of the guy's birthdays. It was guaranteed that this was a group thing, and I confirmed with several other guys before showing up. Surprise Dater had conveniently reserved the seat next to him for me and then, at the end of the meal, proceeded to embarrass himself completely by DEMANDING that he pay for my dinner as well. Everyone else was on separate checks. I assured the waitress I would pay for my own. He literally stood, handed his card to her and stated in the most terrifying tone

"IT. WOULD. BE. MY. PLEASURE."

Are you serious? Clearly, that was the last time I hung out with the group. It simply wasn't safe anymore. Between the forced Facebook photos, deceptive "movie nights," and any other conceivable attempt to date me, I couldn't risk it anymore.

Surprise dating is a real thing. It is an obstacle in the gauntlet that is the Provo Dating Scene. It is a real ailment and I don't even know how to help you avoid it.

Who else has been Surprise Dated? Share your stories here, on the Facebook link, or email me and I'll share. :)

Everybody is Cake Balling Except for Buster

Cake pops are the fun new trend on the dessert scene, and I'll admit I've been intrigued. Never much of a cake person, something small and bite-sized rather than an enormous slice seemed much more doable. I've never been incredibly crafty, nor have I been mistaken for Betty Crocker. Still, I've been looking for a good reason to make them and finally the opportunity presented itself. Saturday was the Young Women's General Broadcast and our ward did a mother-daughter dinner beforehand. I was divinely assigned treats by our Beehive advisor.

I ventured into the unknown dessert land with a heart full of hope, and I was rewarded. Cake Pops are not that hard. Even Danica can do it. Ryan snapped a few photos as I was making them, but I clearly don't have the photo/blogging prowess to be a real life Mormon Housewife blogger. But here goes. Click here for the exact recipe I used.

Ingredients

1 baked Funfetti Cake (so including the oil, water and eggs, or however you choose to bake it)

1 package of frosting (I used Whipped buttercream flavor)

1 package of Almond Bark

2 tbsp of Shortening

Large Disc sprinkles

First, bake your cake. I did this Friday afternoon.

Next, crumble it up into a bowl. The browner edge-parts may not crumble and look gross, so I left them out.

"WHY DID YOU RUIN THAT CAKE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" - The Beard during this step.

Dump in the frosting and mix well. I poured some small sprinkles in as well, so it looked more "Funfetti-y."

This is (one of) the messy parts. Roll the mixture into small balls and place on a cookie sheet covered in wax paper, parchment paper or aluminum foil. The more spherical and even the balls, the better. Your hands will be covered and gross, by the way.

Freeze. I froze them overnight. This process is a bit long to do all in one day.

On Saturday afternoon (when I woke up.... yikes), I melted the almond bark with the shortening in a small, deep bowl. Melt it for about 1 1/2 minutes, stir, then again for 15 second intervals, stirring in between until it seems well mixed and melted.

This was the hardest part for me. I'm going to find a better way to do it (suggestions?). I used a fork to spear and dip each cake ball into the candy, let the excess candy drip off and placed it on the pan. The hardest part is getting it off the fork without totally screwing up the candy coating on the top. You may need to drip some extra candy melting to cover up the fork punctures. Then I sprinkled the large disc sprinkles on the top while it was still wet.

I placed the finished pans of cake balls into the freezer to set up for about 30 minutes before placing them in a little basket and taking them up to the church for the dinner. Regretfully, I only got a picture of the two "crippled children" or imperfect ones that The Beard wanted to eat. So these have way more around the bottom that I didn't drain off well enough.

But I have to admit, they were delicious. Time-consuming, but fairly easy. And they look oh-so-pretty.

Sometimes, Always, Never - Sandals

Summer Summer Summer. With the warm weather, toes have been making their appearance. And I couldn't be happier about it, as long as people respect the rules. Here they are.

SOMETIMES

Old Navy $0.99 flip flops are only ok if you are in a swimsuit. Basically heading to, from and around a beach, pool or lake. Or in a gross public shower. No other exceptions. We don't want to see these in the workplace or at the mall. Grow up and put on real shoes.

Ankle-strap sandals. Only if you don't have "cankles." Trust me. These are beautiful but they will make your cankles look like sausages.

ALWAYS

Anything other than the "Sometimes" or "Never"s with a nice pedicure. You don't even have to pay for one. As long as you are clean and patient, you can give yourself a killer pedicure.

The slingback wedge. When in doubt, put on a slingback wedge. They are my favorite. Leg-elongating, comfortable and effortlessly chic. Get a pair in a fun color and throw them on with anything. I CANNOT WAIT TO BUY SOME TOMS WEDGES.

NEVER

Are you Bear Grylls? No? Ok then. These should never be worn around humans.

This too.

Mockumentary vs. Documentary

In the past 6 months I have watched more documentaries than in my previous life combined. With my great love of Mockumentaries like The Office, Parks and Rec., Arrested Development, etc, I suppose the taste continues to their real counterparts - documentaries.

Netflix has an AWESOME collection of documentaries and I watch them for both business and pleasure. For history teachers, documentaries are gold. When a new unit is coming up, I watch documentaries to brush up on information and to look for potential documentaries that I'd like to show my students. Ryan and I also watch documentaries for fun pretty regularly.

Here are some suggestions and warnings for you:

Loved (fun):

It Might Get Loud - a rock-n-roll documentary (think real Spinal Tap, with less humor) that is pretty awesome. Watching Jack White play makeshift instruments is absolutely mesmerizing. Definitely worth a watch.

Exit Through the Gift Shop - ok, we haven't ACTUALLY watched this one. It's been in our queue for ages, and we really will get around to it. But I've heard great things from multiple sources and can't wait to watch it.

Loved (to learn):

National Geographic: Stress, Portrait of a Killer - super enlightening documentary about what stress does to our bodies and the change in stressors since primitive times. Really cool.

Project XX - these period-specific documentaries are awesome. I showed some of "The Great War" edition in class. They include real footage, cultural elements and actually HELPFUL commentary. They don't even feel like a dry, educational documentary.

Hated:

Waiting for Superman - this documentary chronicling the *failure* of the public school system in the US is so frustrating. As a teacher I can definitely sympathize. Our system is a bit of a mess. There are issues to be dealt with. But the spend far more time criticizing bad teachers and districts, very little time on good teachers and districts, and absolutely no time at all speculating about possible alternatives. In the end, you're left with this empty-handed discontent. What was the point of that?

Bowling for Columbine - after the recent Ohio school shooting I decided to watch this famous Michael Moore piece. I didn't even finish it. I can't stand the guy. I get his style. I get the drama. School shootings and violence are a problem. But this is sensationalist, muckracking, yellow journalism. Again, the only positive outlook is when he compares the awful United States to more successful, less violent nations, showing that it IS in fact possible to be peaceful. If you're not going to make this for a positive reason, shut the front door. I don't want it.

What about y'all? Agree? Disagree? Suggestions? I'd love to hear some more that I should look up.

Sometimes, Always, Never - Wedding Rings

The Beard got a new job and has been spending his lunches in the break room getting to know his coworkers. After work yesterday he relayed to me a conversation he overheard at lunch. One of the girls was recently engaged and the girls were admiring her ring. The conversation proceeded as follows:

Girls (collective) - "OMG! sOOOOOooOOsooo pRetTY!!!!"

Engaged Girl - "I told him I didn't want anything too flashy! I figure that in the future, like for an anniversary or something I can get something new and big and fancy or whatever, but for now I really like this simple setting."

Translation: I DO want something big and flashy, but I recognize that I live in Provo, Utah and we're in college and its completely unrealistic. I respect that, and I'm trying to not be vain and convince myself and others that it's fine. But it really is.

Passive Aggressive Friend #1 - "Yeah. I'm really glad you're cool with that. It's really pretty."

Translation: I'm trying to make you feel like you are settling because I'm jealous that you are engaged and I don't want to let go of my dream of a huge glitzy ring.

I don't need to explain to you what the marriage culture of Utah County is like. So you know this kind of thing is regular. Here is my Sometimes, Always, Never for being classy about rings:

SOMETIMES

"Where did he get it?" - Only acceptable if you are close friends, or if you are currently looking at rings yourself. Sometimes the place may indicate price, which is tacky. Also, she doesn't want you getting the exact same ring.

"Did you guys design it?" - Ok if it is a really unique looking ring, or she mentions anything about customization. If it's not custom designed, some girls may feel that you're indicating it is inferior. HE DIDN'T LOVE ME ENOUGH TO DESIGN SOMETHING AS UNIQUE AS I AM!!!!

ALWAYS

"Gorgeous! So sparkly! It looks like a unicorn tear dipped in glitter!" - Compliment it like crazy. Always nice and classy.

"It's so YOU!" - If you can personalize the compliment to her, it's a great way to make her feel special.

"He did such a great job! You're so lucky!" - giving the fiance credit is always super classy.

NEVER

"How much was it? How many carats? Is it real?" - Duh.

"Is that the REAL ring or just like the placeholder?" - Ouch.

"Oh my gosh! I tried that ring on!" or "My cousin has that ring!" - She wants to feel like its the one and only.

"Is this the same one he gave his last fiance or a new one?" "I'm really glad he gave the family ring to you and not his slutty ex-girlfriend." - Now you're just ruining everything.

"I saw that on the WILK board!" - If he really got it from the WILK board, the last of her worries should be a passive aggressive friend.

Thumper taught you that "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all," right? Well the new motto?

"Always say something nice."

Cruel and Unusual Punishment

Last week I snagged a cell phone from a student. This was the first time in a while because I took like 6 phones in the first few weeks of school and word got out to not text in my class because I'm mean. Mission accomplished.

I tweeted requesting ideas for creative punishment. Obviously it is their property and I would never realistically do anything beyond school policy of taking it to the front office, but that wouldn't make the blog.

Here are a few of the suggestions I received from friends as creative punishments I could do to their phone:

1. Cat Facts. This was probably my favorite suggestion. Thanks, Mitch!
2. Put my name as "God" in their phone and text them sage advice/commandments. In the words of Miss Amanda Wallace, "It's not sacrilegious if it's something He would say." Lolz. Follow her.
3. Delete their birthday on Facebook so no one posts on their birthday. (I once changed Jeanette's birthday on Facebook to the next day when she left it logged in at work. That way people started posting "Happy Birthday!" when it wasn't her birthday. She caught it pretty quick though. Jeanette, this is my confession/apology.)
4. Delete all of their contacts. That one is a little mean.
5. Change the names to all of their contacts, i.e. Batman, Dumbledore, Barack Obama, etc.
6. Chelsey shared this video, which everyone has seen and still can't get enough of.
7. Cristina pulled a Jim and hid a student's phone in a ceiling tile and had the kid's mom call every 5 minutes. Watch out, drywall.
8. Many people have heard of planting a kid with a fake, old cell phone early on in a course, then catch them texting and smash the cell phone with a hammer. Similar to #6 for the pure shock factor.

These are just little things to fantasize about to get me through the day. Maybe soon I'll put something in jello.

Sometimes, Always, Never - Sunglasses

I'm still in the summer mode, obviously. As you read this, I'll be chillin in sunny St. George (if all goes according to plan). My little brother is playing in the legendary Sunshine tournament, and we love baseball, as if we need a reason to jet down to the Geezy.

Also, I'm obsessed with cheap sunglasses. Walking out of Forever 21 without them is my Vietnam. But even I know their time and place. So without further ado, here is this week's Sometimes, Always, Never.

SOMETIMES

Giant, bug frames. The kind you see on movie stars. Ever-so-glamorous and perfect for thwarting the paparazzi, right? I firmly believe these are an enduring trend and not a classic. Usually pretty good, as long as you are outside and doing a sunny activity - preferably by the pool. Try pairing them with a headwrap or scarf headband. Voila! You are an international sensation that happens to vacation in Utah County.

Unacceptable on athletes, indoors or when they overwhelm your face. Round faces should avoid these, as they make you look more like the Walmart Rollback Smiley Face, i.e. your round face is even rounder. Also, pick a big bag or big shades. Not both. Believe it or not, it does NOT make your hips look smaller. You just look like a cat lady.

ALWAYS

The classic aviator. Looks great on every face shape. Is appropriate for every age. Never looks contrived or ridiculous. I stack up on these in silver, gold and a color or two every summer because I know they are in my daily rotation.

The surprising "Always" up and comer is the cat eye. The aviator was my first love, and now all I seem to want to wear is a pair of cheetah print cat eyes I bought last summer. These are more dressy and chic, less of a pool staple and more of a driving, social staple.

NEVER. EVER EVER.

The white-framed wayfarer. Sorry, LMFAO, but these make you look like you only wear Axe. Girls, do you WANT to look like this?

Blue or otherwise ridiculously tinted lenses. Please no. I can live without or without these.

Kanye "blinds." I call them blinds because they remind me of windows. And I really just wish I could shut them.

Condescending Wonka - Kony 2012

My new favorite meme, and my latest thing to make fun of people for.

Don't get me wrong. This guy is terrible. And I plan to talk about this with my kids in our next unit (Africa). But let's be real. Can you pass the test? No? How about some practice?

New Skin

If you haven't noticed, my blog has gotten a pretty serious makeover. My sense of good design and the like is terrible, but lucky for me my BFF's is amazing. I can always trust Eliesa's style and taste. She's a bigwig in the blogging world and she took time out of her busy schedule to make my blog look presentable. See you later, boring blogger templates. Hello style!

If you're reading in an RSS feed, click through to see my blog's awesome new layout! Huge thanks to E!

Sometimes, Always, Never - Swimsuit Shopping

As spring approaches, you may be getting antsy for warm weather, vacations and sun. I can't stop thinking about it. I bought my Pass of All Passes last week and can't wait to get using it. So naturally I've been spending all of my free time pinning summer drinks and treats and online shopping for swimsuits.

Shopping for swimsuits has brought me to tears in the past. My body is incredibly hard to shop for when it comes to things like swimsuits, formal dresses, or anything that is supposed to fit an entire body. I'm short, quite busty, and curvy with a small waist and narrow shoulders. So it's a nightmare. Bikinis are usually my only option because I need a tie around the neck and below the bust, which tankinis almost never offer and are too long and loose if they do. One pieces are pretty much out of the question.

I have had a suit custom made once at Billie Jo clothing in Provo, and really liked it. You get to choose everything about it, and they build it to your measurements. Here's how that went:

"Ok honey, do you want to try the small top?"

"I think I should try the large or extra large, actually."

"... Um. Are you sure?"

"haha yes ma'am. I'm sure."

"Well.... ok... how about I measure you first? How about that?"

"That's, yeah. Let's do that."

--measures me. brow furrows. head shakes.--

"Extra large it is, then."

This may be my only option again this year. Rather than tanning in the backyard or at a deserted pool, this summer I'll be going to Seven Peaks and hanging with my sisters more. It necessitates the purchase of a real (non-bikini) swimsuit. Here's my Sometimes-Always-Never of swimsuit shopping.

SOMETIMES

Order online. Everyone can look online. That's a great idea. If you have a weird body type or you want something that no one else will have, ordering online might be your best bet. However, only do it if the return policy is flexible or you are confident of your size/fit.

[I like Victoria's Secret, Lime Ricki, DivinitaSole *swimsuit above*, Old Navy, and Rey.]

ALWAYS

Get something you WANT to wear. It should be comfortable. It doesn't matter how cute it is if you have to be tugging it every which way or cover it up because it's immodest. Alternately, if it's the most boring swimsuit in the world, why would you wear it? You should get a suit that you want to live in all summer, say I.

NEVER

Get discouraged. Trying on swimsuits can take a serious hit on your self-esteem. Remember that a swim suit isn't about seducing anyone or showing off your not-so-Victoria's Secret physique. It's about having fun. If you decide to be a little healthier after trying on suits, that's never a bad thing. :) But always love yourself. Cheesy enough?