Sometimes, Always, Never - Wedding Rings

The Beard got a new job and has been spending his lunches in the break room getting to know his coworkers. After work yesterday he relayed to me a conversation he overheard at lunch. One of the girls was recently engaged and the girls were admiring her ring. The conversation proceeded as follows:

Girls (collective) - "OMG! sOOOOOooOOsooo pRetTY!!!!"

Engaged Girl - "I told him I didn't want anything too flashy! I figure that in the future, like for an anniversary or something I can get something new and big and fancy or whatever, but for now I really like this simple setting."

Translation: I DO want something big and flashy, but I recognize that I live in Provo, Utah and we're in college and its completely unrealistic. I respect that, and I'm trying to not be vain and convince myself and others that it's fine. But it really is.

Passive Aggressive Friend #1 - "Yeah. I'm really glad you're cool with that. It's really pretty."

Translation: I'm trying to make you feel like you are settling because I'm jealous that you are engaged and I don't want to let go of my dream of a huge glitzy ring.

I don't need to explain to you what the marriage culture of Utah County is like. So you know this kind of thing is regular. Here is my Sometimes, Always, Never for being classy about rings:

SOMETIMES

"Where did he get it?" - Only acceptable if you are close friends, or if you are currently looking at rings yourself. Sometimes the place may indicate price, which is tacky. Also, she doesn't want you getting the exact same ring.

"Did you guys design it?" - Ok if it is a really unique looking ring, or she mentions anything about customization. If it's not custom designed, some girls may feel that you're indicating it is inferior. HE DIDN'T LOVE ME ENOUGH TO DESIGN SOMETHING AS UNIQUE AS I AM!!!!

ALWAYS

"Gorgeous! So sparkly! It looks like a unicorn tear dipped in glitter!" - Compliment it like crazy. Always nice and classy.

"It's so YOU!" - If you can personalize the compliment to her, it's a great way to make her feel special.

"He did such a great job! You're so lucky!" - giving the fiance credit is always super classy.

NEVER

"How much was it? How many carats? Is it real?" - Duh.

"Is that the REAL ring or just like the placeholder?" - Ouch.

"Oh my gosh! I tried that ring on!" or "My cousin has that ring!" - She wants to feel like its the one and only.

"Is this the same one he gave his last fiance or a new one?" "I'm really glad he gave the family ring to you and not his slutty ex-girlfriend." - Now you're just ruining everything.

"I saw that on the WILK board!" - If he really got it from the WILK board, the last of her worries should be a passive aggressive friend.

Thumper taught you that "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all," right? Well the new motto?

"Always say something nice."