A Real Hippie Wouldn't Hurt Bambi

I hope you're intrigued by that title. It's hard to believe, but it is actually relevant to my Saturday night.

On Friday one of my besties from high school - Mckensie crashed with me, and Gabi came over to hang with us. We stayed up late braiding our hair and watching puppy videos on YouTube like any other 14 year olds at a sleepover. We even played M.A.S.H. (no, we didn't.)

I slept in and read in bed until 1 pm like a really responsible adult. After breakfast and several Office episodes in my sweats The Beard talked me into showering and getting ready. (He bribed me with Target and the Library.)

Now comes the Hippie part. My bangs were not particularly cooperative. Plus Gabi had shown me a more effective way to fishtail braid my hair. The only option was this turban/bandana/wrap/headband that I originally bought to wear to Seven Peaks.

If you know me at all, you know I'm pretty much as far from a hippie as you can get. No one has and no one will ever describe my style as "Boho" or "Hippie Chic" because all of my clothes are fitted, black and not out of place at a funeral.

So it was kind of fun to wear an outfit my dad would call "hipster" and caused the Beard to look questioningly at my head. Gotta mix it up, you know?

After outfit photos and picking up my 6 items on hold at the awesome Draper Library, we were off to my second favorite weakness - Target. Those dollar bins are ALWAYS my kryptonite, but especially when they feature Star Wars items. Yahtzee.

Great day right? Going really well. Star Wars. Libraries. Outfit photos. Even a Sonic run.

Soon to be nearly ruined when I hit a deer on the way home. Now, I grew up in Mapleton so I've had my fair share of close shaves with deer. But I've never hit one. For once in my life I was not speeding, so we didn't hit him very hard. He got up and pranced away, and there was minimal damage to the plastic fender flare on my Jeep.

Traumatic damage to my emotional state, however. We're talking bawling and hyperventilating. I just felt so BAD. I didn't mean to hit you, little guy! I promise! I'm really sorry if you are bruised and sore! I hope your family took care of you and you warned all of them to stay off that winding, poorly lit road.

I'm sure the Beard was equal parts embarrassed and concerned about my reaction, but he was so good at remaining calm and reassuring. I'd have probably run into the woods to apologize to Bambi if he hadn't been there. He even took his crazy wife to the movies later to cheer her up.

Lesson Learned: if you dress like a hippie/gypsy while driving a gas guzzling SUV the universe will put you right back in your place.

Danica is a Time-Traveler

Why am I a Time-Traveler you might ask? Well it's because I was able to rewind 2013 and re-designate TODAY as the first day of the New Year. Pretty impressive, right?

Here's why. Last week was awful. Just bad. For so many reasons, in so many spheres... just.... EW. I'm not a big believer in pity parties, sob stories, Negative Nellies, etc. So I'm not going to air my grievances or be a Downer Danica.

But I'm also a big believer in honesty and not hiding problems or issues. I love when bloggers - you know, the perfect one? The one who always seems gorgeous, put together, crafty, spiritual and amazing? - I love when those bloggers admit to being down on themselves, sad or discouraged.

REALITY.

Anyway. Last week sucked. I had the aforementioned breakdown. Several, really. And I was all kinds of worried for the future.

So I took matters into my own hands and declared today, Monday January 7, the REAL New Years Day. Today is the first week of the year. Today I really focus on my resolutions. Today I am not watching Office reruns in my sweats, sobbing into bowls of popcorn. (Well. Maybe later.)

Thanks to Glen Coco, a CDP with our besties the Findeis' and a blessing from the Beard, I'm feeling so much better and ready to take the bull by the horns. I'm looking at you 2013.

Last week I posted that OUR 2013 goal/resolution/hope was to figure shiz out and have real adult lives by next Christmas.

My personal resolutions are a little more specific.

1. Better Church Attendance/Magnify my Calling. Kind of sucked at that this year. 
2. Yoga, yoga and more yoga. 
3. Be more neat at school and home - which really means that I'm going to try hard to put things AWAY, clean up after myself immediately, and not be cluttered. See ya later, piles of papers, books and magazines!
4. Plan outfits by week. I feel so much better and more put together, not to mention my personal style is way more chic when not thrown together at 6 am in the dark. Yikes.
5. Try new recipes weekly - we used to cook like crazy when we were both home by 5 pm. The Beard's late work schedule has thrown a wrench in those plans and I eat popcorn for dinner about 3 nights a week. Double Yikes

But the biggest one is the best one. Also the most obscure and probs the most difficult. 

 

My biggest resolution is to be kinder, nicer, more empathetic, more caring and more filled with charity. 

Believe it or not, I'm not as mean in real life as I am on this blog.  I'm actually fairly nice. Promise. But it's not my strong point. I'm crazy judgy and a huge snob about meaningless things like grammar and style. And Harry Potter.

I just want to be nicer. So I'm studying charity, love, humility, service, all the good stuff in the scriptures. I'm going to give stuff to every homeless person I see. Seriously. You can hold me to that. I'm going to smile and chat with strangers.  Make goodies for people. Have real meaningful interactions via social media - complimenting, connecting, leaving people feeling happy. 

I started already with a wrong number texter. Best instagram I've ever posted, according to the feedback received.

I just want to leave people feeling better than they did before they saw me. I used to be more like that. These middle school kids and early mornings have slowly crushed my soul. But I'm gonna get it back.

So here's to you 2013! You are now officially allowed to start!

2013: The Year of Bad Decisions

Ok, it won't really be the year of bad decisions. That's just one of the Beard's favorite phrases.

Nearly every year I have a breakdown around New Years. It's the Type A planner's cross to bear. A whole new year to plan, a blank calendar, far too many unanswered questions, far too many possibilities.

I bought a new planner. All the blank pages freak me out. I find myself trying to put at least SOMETHING on each page. The unknown freaking KILLS me.

This year could be big for us. Who knows. We could be in the same spot doing the same thing a year from now. But I hope we're not.

Things are awesome right now, and we are super lucky. Life is so fun, we have great jobs and the best puppy in the entire world. So I definitely don't mean to sound ungrateful.

We are just excited to figure things out. Things just haven't felt REAL yet, and we want them to.

And that's our New Years Resolution - by this time next year, we'll have everything figured out and be REAL.

My fingers are crossed that we'll be on Mission Beach in San Diego.

The Beard hopes that it will be with his feet up on a desk in Fenway Park.

I guess that's the fun and scary thing about a generalized, open-ended resolution. We have no idea what or where or how it could happen.

That's where faith and hope and all that jazz come in. We'll go where you want us to go, dear Lord.

As long as that place has no snow.

BFFaeae (Best Friends Forever and ever and ever)

Before Chistmas I got together with a few of my softball friends from high school for delicious Mexican food at Los Hermanos. Although Gabi, Holli, Kandice and Sar-Bear couldn't make it, me, Kellie, Keeli and Kayla had a great time. I'm so lucky to have such great friends. Gosh I love these girls.

After Senior Day 2008

Every so often we try to put together these dinners to see one another and catch up. Each time, our lives have changed more dramatically, and more of us live farther from Springville. I love hearing everyone's updates because it's so surreal that we are all real adults with real lives. Imagine that.

Dinner at P.F. Changs in 2009

Some of us are married. Some still dating. Some in school. Some graduated. Some in Springville. Some in West Jordan, Ogden and Kentucky.

At my wedding in July 2011

None of us have kids yet. So that's something. Doesn't this look like a group of great future mothers?

80's Stomp 2007

Some of these girls I haven't seen in over a year. But it doesn't matter. We don't miss a beat. Within minutes we are "glory days"-ing and laughing over inside jokes from 2002 or earlier.

Senior Softball Photos 2008

I'm so lucky to have these girls that are still counted among my best friends, 5 years after high school.  They still know me better than almost anyone (Beard). Friends 4 evaaaaaaaa.

Senior Prom 2008

The Beard and I talk about this often, especially when we are talking with our single male friends:

A girl having a somewhat consistent, long-term group of friends is a good sign of stability and low levels of crazy. Despite the duck faces. 

Sunshine Tournament 2007

We always tell our guy friends that a girl that has a different girlfriend every time you see her - run. Run fast and far.

Because those girls are even too crazy for OTHER GIRLS.

Yikes.

Pants Me

What am I wearing on Sunday? None of your business. Because it isn't a fashion show.

It isn't a private school with mandatory uniforms.

And it definitely isn't a venue for protest.

Do I care the most miniscule amount if you wear pants to church? No. I don't. And neither does anyone else. Except perhaps the really old school people. But they probably also hate that you use your iPhone for scriptures.

And even they don't want you to wear to wear skirts as a sign of submission. NO ONE DOES.

The idea behind "Sunday Best" is showing the Lord that you are dressing your nicest to dedicate time to worship him. If your nicest attire is a classy pantsuit, awesome. AWESOME. Wear it. Bully for you. No one cares. A lady in my ward used to and literally no one cared.

But pants will never be a sign of equality. Wearing pants is not going to mend this false sense of inequality and insecurity you feel in the Church.

The Church does not treat women unfairly. If anything we are actually shielded and protected from some of the tougher and rougher elements of life and responsibility.

If you feel unequal, I'd start taking a look at the people with whom you surround yourself. I don't doubt that there are men (and women) in your life that may treat you as subordinate or look down on you. Maybe even men in positions of authority in the local church.

But how many times do you need to hear that the Church is perfect but the members are not?

How many times do you need to read Alma & Amulek's sermon to the poor and rejected that weren't allowed to worship they way they wanted? (Thank GOODNESS they didn't have the burden of not wearing pants to deal with! Can you imagine?!)

How many times to I need to write snarky, unChristlike blog posts about these ridiculous Mormon fad groups?!!!!!

I'm wearing my nicest skirt to Church on Sunday. If you hadn't guessed.

Dating for Dummies: Married Edition

We had the best date night last Monday. So great that it made us realize how lame we normally are with our date nights. We do really easy, comfortable, familiar things usually. At least we are good about having a "date night" once a week, I guess.

Anyway. If you're like us and need to spruce up the ol' date night, we somehow succeeded. Here are the key elements, as I see it.

Plan it in advance. Think back to your days of "Planned, Paired Off and Paid For." Even if it's simple, a little planning and scheduling in advance is the best. It's something to put on the calendar and look forward to. 

(The Beard got tickets to this Jazz game in the Larry H. Miller Suite a few weeks ago. So fun.)

Make the transportation part of your date - whether that's taking a scenic route, parking and walking a few blocks to your restaurant, or listening to specific music in the car makes that time more memorable.

(We took the Trax from Sandy to Downtown - neither of us being big Trax users. Best people watching of all time. We also did a Backstreet Boys singalong on the way home, but that's pretty normal.)

Do something new, like a restaurant you've never tried or a store you've never been in.

(Z'Tejas was a last minute decision but the giant bowl of guacamole made right at our table was the highlight of my night. It's rare that I can weasel the Beard out of Italian and into Mexican food, so when it's yummy I rub it in.)

Positive Conversation is where it's at. Focus on things you love, things you're excited for and retelling old stories. 

(We have been trying so hard to not complain about our jobs, and it's paying off. We talked about our families, Christmas plans, single girls to set our single guys up with, and of course Glen Coco.)

And finally, the best discovery I made was actually an unfortunate accident. 

And the reason I have no pictures. Not even of my outfit. I wore a Star Wars graphic tee, blazer, cropped pants and leopard studded loafers. Definitely outfit-post worthy, but we missed it. Just imagine it, would you? Here's my outfit today anyways. Not as cute. Much more teacher-y. But I finally got a polka dot sweater! Blogger win!

Puppy: Heaven, sweater: Forever 21, chambray shirt: Old Navy, pants: Gap, boots: Forever Young

Turn your phone off, leave it in the car, silent mode, whatever you need to do. You become so much more mentally present and engaged when your phone/Twitter/Instagram isn't buzzing in the back of your mind.

At first I was bummed that I couldn't post a pic and live tweet the game, but it only lasted about a minute. Once I realized I didn't have to check my phone constantly and could give the Beard my full attention, the night just took off. 

I realized that THAT is what a date truly is. Devoting your attention to one person for a few hours to show them you care and really want to know them. After 7 years of dating you would think I'd have figured that out by now.

Well I've figured it out now. And I'm super excited for more phone-less dates with that bearded guy I like.

Coming Soon to a Theater Near You: Your Life

We were recently invited to join a book club by our chic friend Cambri Christensen Visser. I was completely and totally psyched. I love to read and I never know WHAT to read. Goodreads is great and I like to use it for inspiration. But almost more than reading the books, I love TALKING about books. When I read Gone Girl over fall break I was dying to talk to someone, anyone about it and none of my friends had read it. Pure hell.

So a book club is the best scenario of all time. Books. Friends. Discussion. Food. Yahtzee. I'm looking to get involved in a few more. Message me if you're interested. Srsly.

The book we chose for our first round was "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller. He is a memoir-humor-lifestyle-self help-religion-grab bag writer. I have his signature name-making book "Blue Like Jazz" on hold for pickup at the library and I can't wait to grab it tomorrow and begin devouring it like this one.

It is, in a word, inspirhilariawesome. Because I couldn't use just one word to describe it. Especially for a somewhat rootless, disillusioned, bored 20-something, it just hit me right in the heart. Not with fear, shock or even poignancy, but with simple truth.

The premise of the book is that Donald Miller is spinning his wheels, bored in the lull after the success of "Blue Like Jazz." Some filmmakers approach him out of the blue and want to make a movie about his life/memoir. Suddenly, Miller is faced with the amazing opportunity to deeply examine and even rewrite his own life. The lessons he learns along the way are amazing and so completely applicable to our lives.

The main theme is that we are all living "stories." He begins seeing himself as a character while trying to write his life script, and sees that its probably the way God sees us in the stories where He places us. We have a lot of control in our stories, but He is there, whispering in our ears the elements to make our story better if we will just listen to him.

Story elements apply to our lives. Quotable bits like "When we live a story we are telling the people around us what we think is important" and "if the character hasn't changed, the story isn't over yet" really made me think about my life as a story that I want to spice up. Good characters face trials and challenges, have to do some good to be likable, and always come out on top in the end. Eventually.

Another big theme was the idea that WE have to make our story readable. Tellable. Interesting. Miller realizes when the filmmakers try to make up parts of his story that his true story isn't interesting enough for the screen.

Is mine? Is yours? If a filmmaker sat down with you to make a movie of your life, would it make a good movie? Probably not. Sorry. No offense. Mine would be super boring too. I spend far too much time on the couch watching The Office and reading fashion blog/magazines to make my life interesting.

At that point, Miller does a number of things to make his life a good "story." He tries to find his estranged father. He hikes to Macchu Picchu in Peru. He bikes across the United States. It's not easy. He has an incredibly difficult, even painful time. But he knows that it's the right thing to do and he learns that pain wins you things. Like experience. Knowledge. And scenes.

The most visual, personally applicable part was his description of scenes. Great movies, great stories, have great scenes. Think of an action hero walking calmly away from an expanding explosion. A romantic kiss in the rain. A meditating character at sunset. Think of your favorite movie and you're sure to recall a "scene."

Now think of your favorite memories in life. Likely they are "scenes" as well. They don't often come reading on the couch, Danica. Miller notes that many of his favorite scenes happen in the outdoors while DOING things. Point taken. I'll get out and DO more. But maybe not till this snow melts in the spring...

What I walked away with, was that my life can be an incredible story. You just need to be willing to accept an "inciting incident." Accept pain. Accept challenge. Get out of your box, so to speak. Do good things that will make you the type of character viewer/readers want to root for. Make memorable scenes. Listen to your screenwriter, God, whispering your cue in the corner of your ear. Live like a documentary crew is following you around, day in and day out.

Live your life like it's a story that you'd want to pay $8.50 and a bucket of popcorn for.

Start by reading this book.

Then email me so we can talk more about it.