Bloggers and Jewelry and Slutty Brownies, Oh My!

My friend and fellow blogger Miss Gentri Lee invited me to a blogger party on Saturday at her new salon - A la Mode Studios in Draper. She does facials, makeup, eyelash extensions and generally makes you look better than you naturally look. She's amazing. She did makeup and consultations, as well as jewelry giveaways and delicious treats to throw a super fun party and spread the word about her services.

Check out her blog and give her a call if you need/want to look prettier for something/anything/nothing. She's a beauty wizard and bite-sized fun. 

It was so much fun to meet new blogger friends and see Gentri work her magic in the studio. The cute jewelry and other prizes were courtesy of: cheerfully charmed, (kno)name, perfectly posh c/o tiffany, pixie pie 

I won an awesome (kno) Name watch and cute Cheerfully Charmed earrings (above)! Yahtzee!

Gentri asked me to bring some treats so I made...... drumroll..... Slutty Brownies! Found of course on Pinterest, these have been my latest bake for the last few events I've needed treats for. As seen on the red tray above, they are deliciously messy and positively satanic for your diet. Cookie dough, oreos and brownie batter. Idiot proof and delicious.

These girls were delightful. I should do blogger meetups more often. I get invited to them or see them advertised all the time but never go. Mostly because I'm lazy. But this one has me converted to the blogger world.  Even if I didn't come with the blogger bun and red lipstick, they still accepted me as one of their own. Thanks, blogging world of Utah.

 

Classy. Just pure classy.

 

I didn't even meet everyone, but I added like 10 new awesome blogs to my blogroll. If you are looking for a bunch of fun new ladies to follow, check out the comprehensive list compiled by Gentri and Sarah on Gentri's blog. If you're anything like me you're a compulsive blog reader, Diet Coke drinker and puppy cuddler. Well at least a blog reader. So check it out.

The Birthday King

The Beard has a varied and extensive skill set: basic skills like being incredibly smart with insane reading comprehension, and his impressive social aptitude for meeting people and making friends.

But he also has the most random assortment of what he calls "skills of a misspent youth."

• Family tech support - he knows pretty much everything about computers, iPhones and anything with an on button
• He can break into anything in under a minute. Suspicious.
• Pensmanship. He has 4 distinct fonts. All better than my handwriting. 
• Amazing cook. I don't know why he puts up with my basic and unimpressive cooking when everything he makes is 100x more delicious. 
• Fencing. Not sure why. But he's crazy good at it. 
• Building/fixing things.
• Ability to rattle off sports statistics (mostly baseball) for obscure players 10 years ago.
• Great with babies, kids and puppies. Drool-worthy, you guys. 

Probably the most surprising to me is that he's not your average male crappy gift-giver.

The Beard is the King of Birthdays.

The last two weeks have been awesome because he hit it out of the park once again. Not only with thoughtful gifts (new scriptures to replace my high school seminary copies that are falling apart and read "Danica Anne Budge", a Yoda bobblehead, iPad keyboard, to name a few) but with the way he makes me feel special. I got cute emails from him throughout the day, and even though that day was stressful and exhausting I was so excited to come home and have fun with him.

He carried around all the gifts from my awesome family around the mall while I found a pair of pants to replace a crotch-hole pair (the worst).

He turned on The Office for me and set up my new keyboard, and even let me nap!

He got tickets for us to see Thriller - which is huge. The Beard doesn't relish the theater. It's pushing it to get him to go to a movie, let alone people jumping around in tights IN PERSON. But he knew I had wanted to see it and just came through.

It was awesome and we had so much fun, even if we had to fight about parking (always). :)

I love the Birthday King.

Even if he didn't believe me that I'm 23 now.

Do you have a Glass Eye?!

One weekend a couple of years ago, I went down to a softball coaching seminar thing at Dixie State with my dad, sister and our other Crush coach, Kylie.

The seminar ended late and we were starving - leaving no other option but the ever-mediocre Village Inn outside our hotel.

It was late, we were tired and giggly, so the next part became even funnier than it sounds, at least to us.

Explanation: If you have met me, you've certainly noticed my weird, lazy, twitchy eye. I've had it since I was in the NICU, apparently some side effect of laying on that side of my head for different treatments. It has gotten better as I've gotten older, but it gets worse when I'm tired and is very exaggerated when I chew and eat. I don't notice it anymore, except when I meet someone new and they can't stop looking at it. I don't blame them. It's pretty distracting.

With that in mind... enjoy the rest of the story.

I noticed this male waiter had been tailing our female waitress every time she came to check on our food/drinks. He kept looking at our table, enough that I wondered if he was into one of us ladies.

Finally he walked up to ask if we needed anything, then turned to me. The look on Ed Budge's face turned immediately stony and unamused.

You can imagine my surprise when this weird, bespectacled nerd waiter didn't ask for my name or number (is that a vain assumption?) but instead blurted

"Do you have a glass eye?"

My jaw dropped.

Ed's eyes widened.

Brooke and Kylie snorted and coughed to mask their explosion of laughter.

"OH-uhhhhhh.... No." I finally spit out. A glass eye?

People have asked about my weird eye, but never if I was some sort of pirate or evil villain with a prosthetic EYEBALL.

Ed lowers his head to shake it and bite back his smirk.

Brooke and Kylie still in tears, doubled over, trying unsuccessfully to curb their laughter.

"Oh. Oh. Yeah, sorry... It just..." He splutters and stammers trying to apologize and explain.

"Yeah, well, yeah it's weird. Yeah ok thanks bye." I finally get him to turn around and do the walk of awkward back to the waiters station.

The second he is out of sight, we all burst into even louder, more stunned laughter. Five minutes later we regain our breath and he avoids our not-so-sneaky glances as we leave.

An inside joke/insult was born.

I'm just really glad he didn't notice my peg leg.

What are Marijuana Tablets?

What if, as a teacher, I took a strange liking to one of my students?

What if he was underage and I was a weirdo 40-something?

What if I followed him on Twitter?

What if I, after weirdly stalking his Twitter feed, noticed he had a party at his house over the weekend and one of his sketchy friends tweeted about having ecstasy at said party?

Would I ask the sketchy kid who tweeted about it? Would I ask the student who had the party, who is my student and and I respect?

Would I submit a concern to the administration, the people who's job is to deal with student discipline?

Or would I decide to announce to not one, but ALL of my classes the next day about the "ecstasy party" and the bad high school kids who would throw such a party, based solely on a tweet I saw while STALKING a TEENAGE BOY'S twitter feed?

No. The answer is - I wouldn't.

Because I'm not a psycho who follows her teenage male students on Twitter.

Because I have half a brain and understand that MAYBE a teenage boy can tweet something that isn't true simply for the comedic value. Call me crazy.

Because I would ask the real person who tweeted about ecstasy, not the respectable, stand-up young man who works so hard in my AP class and has never done anything remotely delinquent.

Because if I were concerned, I would address that stand-up young man personally, privately to ascertain the truth.

Because sharing that a kid who had a party last weekend (everyone knew about the party AND who threw it) was a bad kid and had drugs and alcohol at his party MIGHT be considered slander and is a generally terrible thing to share even if it WERE true. Which it isn't.

Because what would happen if that untrue information started being spread around town by people who don't know the stand-up young gentleman and might believe it?

Because I'm not only a normal human being, but I understand that as an educator I have a reasonable duty to be a positive influence and have a shred of integrity.

There is someone at Maple Mountain High School who does not share these values (also called common sense).

It's a good thing my little brother is the amazing kid that he is.

It's a good thing he has built such a good, honest, strong reputation that most people know he would never have ECSTASY at a party, or even be anywhere near it.

It's a good thing he's so mellow and such a good sport, which has enabled him to roll with this.

It's a good thing it wasn't me. Because she'd be sitting in front of the Board of Education explaining why she did all the aforementioned things.

My brother is the best kid I know, a worthy priesthood holder and a total drug-free rock star. And no, there was not ecstasy at his very clean, very Mormon party.

So the next time you want to make up some crap about a student and spread that around the school like a 13 year old girl, you better pick a different target than Mitchell Jeffrey Budge. 

Because no one messes with my family and gets away with it. You think this is bad? I get all my feisty from my momma. And you haven't even had to deal with her yet. Be afraid. Be very afraid. 

Sometimes, Always, Never - Transitional Clothing

What?! A "Sometimes, Always, Never"!!!!!! I've been patiently waiting, hoping and praying that Danica will post another entry in the mean, elitist, judgy series!

You wish is my command.

This week I have been turning over my closet from warm to cold. Shorts have been folded neatly. Open toe wedges are walking their way to the back room. Florals are awaiting decision. It's been on my mind for over a week, and it's still not done.

So without further ado, our Sometimes, Always, Never:

SOMETIMES

Florals need to be handled on a case-by-case basis. Ask yourself a few questions

1. Are the colors dark or moody overall? (Think black, blue, dark reds or greens, grays and other neutrals. See right) If they are, that's easy to wear all winter. Pair with dark tights, sweaters and boots. Yahtzee. 
2. Is the fabric thin or heavy? If it's a thin, lightweight fabric, be careful. If you can tell it's supposed to be worn on it's own on a warm summer picnic day - stash it. If it's a blouse or thicker fabric, again, pair with a sweater, scarf or tights. 
3. What is the style of the garment? If it's both floral and a tank top, sorry. It's screaming SUMMERTIME. Stash. **For example** I have a black floral maxi. It's dark, but since it's both floral and a maxi (designed for beachy summertime) I stash it until spring. Other maxis are great for winter... but they are dark solids paired with sweaters and scarves. Kapish? (see below)

 Everyone knows the whites-after-labor-day rule has been thrown out. Still, be wary. A white-on-white ensemble makes you look a LITTLE bit like the Queen of Narnia. Pair multiple whites with neutrals. I'm loving this white/camel from A Piece of Toast this week. Super fresh, right? But take it easy with the circus tent cardigans... ok?

ALWAYS

Skirts and dresses don't have to move to the storage closet just because they are short. Pair them with a richly colored legging or tight - try oxblood, gray or mustard for some punch. 

Bright colors seem destined for sunny days and outdoor events, but don't rule them out. I posted this picture for Anti-Bully Day (we all wore orange) with my bright shift, cardi and loafers, but it's one of my fave outfits for winter paired with black tights and flat black boots. (See the photo below mine for a less sleepy, more glamorous outfit.) Pare down the bright colors with neutrals. It makes those snowy days less depressing. 

NEVER

Linen is a lightweight, breathable fabric meant for heat. We're all looking at your wind-vulnerable linen pants and laughing. 

How about we just stash ALL of those booty shorts until April? That way there's absolutely NO CHANCE you'll end up pairing them with Ugg boots even by mistake. 

In Utah, you simply cannot walk around with bare legs in winter. Tights are necessary. Seeing your tight-seam and your un-pedicured toes because you are wearing open-toed shoes is 100% ATROCIOUS. 

Mid-calf boots make everyone look disgusting. Just because a 90 lb model wears one does NOT, I repeat, DOES NOT mean it's going to look good on you. Sorry. It hits at the widest part of your calf. It's just common sense, ladies. 

Go for ankle, just below or just above the knee. Please. 

So there you have it! Good luck turning over your closets and may the fashion force be with you. 

Falling for Fall Break

Oh the short weekend. When freedom isn't so far away, and Monday is simply a Wednesday. I love short weeks. If I could work 4 10-hour days and always have a 3 day weekend I'd do it in a heartbeat. Man. I love a short week.

Fall Break is this week for me. Unfortunately it didn't line up with my family's fall breaks, which were the previous week, but I still get two days off so I'm not complaining. 

I'm in love with fall, like everyone else. {Oh, you weren't sure because I didn't post 1,000 pictures of sweaters & leaves (see below), obsess over pumpkin spiced EVERYTHING and tweet my pure love for the season every 20 minutes? Well let this reassure you.}

Seeing how it's been 80 DEGREES FARENHEIT up until last week.... I thought it was prudent to lay off the fall traditions. You know, like we used to before Pinterest existed. I'm looking at you, girls wearing boots and coats in September. You're gross. 

Well now we have finally arrived.

The leaves are an ever-changing tapestry. 

The air has that crisp bite like the carbonation of a fresh can of soda. 

Goosebumps spread rapidly over my bare legs, screaming for tights. 

The ubiquitous pumpkin spices our views and desserts.

Glen's new favorite activity is attacking the dying flower bushes around our stair entry. 

Slutty Halloween costumes flood the front aisles of Wal-Mart.

It truly is magic. 

Without further ado, I submit my Fall Break to-do list, open for suggestions, corrections, additions or your attendance!

• Canyon hike/walk with my favorite Derrick girls
• CDP (Classy Dinner Party) with the Findeis'
• Making this delicious pumpkin treat
• Zombie movie/Walking Dead marathon
• Reading a new book (I just finished Water for Elephants, looking for something not about animals being abused, thanks....)
• Yoga
• Temple trip (If you knew how rarely we go, living 1/2 mile away, you'd judge us so hard)
• Sweats. Always. 
• Taking Glen Coco to the park, all bundled up obvs
• Figuring out a good Halloween costume. The Beard is working late Halloween, and I can't be Leslie Knope without my Ron Swanson. I also can't be Hermione for the 3rd year in a row...
• Spa Day - basically I just use every possible beauty product in my house: face mask, deep conditioning treatment for my hair, mani/pedi, etc. 
• Make my favorite drink - Hot Vanilla. It will change your life. 

How am I going to fit this all into a 4 day weekend, you ask? Autumn is magic, remember?

Marching to the Beat of My Own Metaphorical Drumline

I've always loved marching bands. Seriously. I know it's kind of nerdy.

When I was probably 8 years old I told my mom that I wanted to learn to play the drums. She (wisely) suggested that I learn to play the piano first. I begrudgingly conceded. I played piano for 5 or 6 years until it became intolerable. I wanted to be slide tackling and scoring goals, not practicing sight-reading like a CHUMP. I played by ear and never wanted to sight-read, so my teachers hated me. I'm certain it didn't have anything to do with me being a smart-ass my entire life. [In retrospect I'm super sad I didn't stick with it.]

I played on drum sets wherever I could find them, and Rock Band was a total godsend. I still wish I could be Meg White.

Obvs I like the movie Drumline, in spite of Nick Cannon.

So it should be no surprise to you guys that this video made my WEEK. Enjoy.