Family Ward Probs

I had to write the message for the Ward Newsletter this month. I basically reused my entire talk for Evening in Excellence, because it was all about setting goals and baby steps and stuff like that. Fairly applicable to a new year.

Also I apologize for two religious-y posts in a row. But you guys know me and obviously know this is all talk. So here it is. Enjoy.

We're facing a new year, which means most of us are evaluating last year and vowing to make this one the best year yet. We are making New Year's Resolutions, rewriting schedules and clearing the junk food from our pantries. I expect most of us have recommitted ourselves spiritually, as well. But our goals will matter little if we are not sure of our end result - our destination.

Everything in this life is part of a recipe. What type of recipe depends on YOU. You must decide what type of dish you are going to make. I once heard a parable about father teaching his children about choices and the recipe of life. They decided for Family Home Evening, they would make a cake. The father told every family member to grab their favorite ingredients for their cake.

"Aren't we going to follow a recipe?" His puzzled daughter asked.

"No, I don't think we need help. I think we can figure this out on our own. Right?"

The oldest daughter pulled out some chocolate, because everyone loves chocolate. The oldest son grabbed cinnamon, because he loved cinnamon rolls more than anything. The youngest son returned with pickles - his favorite treat. The youngest daughter picked festive pink sprinkles. Mom, playing along, chose peanut butter, and Dad threw in his favorite snack -- carrots. As their father started to cut up and pour in all of the ingredients, the amused smiles disappeared from the children's faces. They watched in amazement as Dad slid the "cake" into the oven to bake for 12-18 minutes. When the cake was finished, Dad pulled it out and tried his best to cut the amorphous blob into slices.

"Who's first?!" He asked excitedly.

"Ummm... Dad? That looks disgusting." His children mumbled.

"No! It's all of our favorite things. We all love this stuff. How could it be disgusting?" He said in mock disbelief.

"Well, yeah... but in the end they don't work together. They don't make a cake!"

Indeed, they did not. This "cake" didn't look enticing or edible at all. After some discussion, they decided that flour and salt, eggs and butter, while not as exciting as their favorite things, were necessary for making the cake. They pulled out a recipe and tried again, this time with a successful, delicious result.

The world would encourage us to make our own recipes. Choose all of your favorite ingredients, with no regard for the end result. Have fun. Make mistakes. No consequences.

Christ would have us follow HIS recipe. The flour and salt, eggs and butter are our trials, hard work, sacrifice and humility. On their own, they may seem difficult or "uncool." But they are integral parts to our recipe, and without them our cake will never taste as sweet.

Let us choose our recipe for 2012, and let us follow it carefully. It is found in the scriptures and can be mixed through study, church activity and service to others. When we have a target, a destination, an end result, our goals become clearer and more attainable. This year CAN be one for progress and achievement. We can follow the admonition of a beloved Prophet George Albert Smith, our topic of study this year, when he urged us

"Let us do better than we have ever done before. Let us renew our determination to be real Latter-day Saints, and not just make-believe. ... I do not know anybody who can not do a little better than he has been doing, if he makes up his mind (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: George Albert Smith, pg. 5)."

I bear my testimony that this Gospel is true, and is the recipe for happiness and eternal life, found only in the Celestial Kingdom. This is our goal.

Positively Amazing

A few weeks ago I picked up Corrie Ten Boom's "The Hiding Place" - an account of her adventures and horrors during the German occupation of Denmark and subsequent travels to Ravensbruck. I've always enjoyed learning about World War II and I wanted to freshen up before my class got to it this week. I thought I'd do a bit of a book review for anyone whose New Years Resolution is to read.

My review: Read it.

You won't regret it. Promise. As I was reading, I was struck several times at how familiar the stories sounded, and then realized that the stories I already knew and had heard in sacrament/Conference talks were HER stories.

For instance, one story in particular illustrates the power of positive thinking, gratitude and prayer. Corrie's sister Betsie is a saint. Just a pure-hearted, loving, charitable saint. She is the one who bears Corrie up when all light seems to dim from the world around them. They are moved into these awful, awful barracks where there are three women to a rough, thin cot and the entire place is teeming with fleas. Corrie, as a normal human being, is skeptical about the hopefulness of the condition. Betsie insists that they must pray in gratitude for EVERYTHING that they have in those barracks.

"Even the fleas?" Corrie asked incredulously.

"Even the fleas," a resolute Betsie replied. So she did. She prayed in gratitude for those fleas.

Weeks later, the German camp directors started running surprise raids on different barracks. Corrie was hiding vitamins for Betsie, a bible and their sister's sweater -- all contraband items in a Nazi work camp. They were terrified that these items would be found and confiscated, and the owners punished mercilessly. The bible in particular was their only solace in their cruel lives.

At the last minute, the guards arrive at the door of the barracks, taking a few steps inside and proclaiming "Fleas! I'm not going in here amongst the fleas!"

The fleas had saved them. The fleas were worthy of gratitude after all.

Along with providing a more realistic view of our cushy daily lives, and an appreciation for the sorrows and suffering of others, this book provides one of the most spiritually reassuring messages I've ever learned.

God is God. And he's everyone's.

It doesn't matter if you are a Jew in the prison camp. Or a Christian sympathizer in the prison camp. Or a Nazi German running the prison camp. Or an impoverished Muslim living in a war-torn refugee camp. Or a Latter-day Saint living in Happy Valley, U.S.A. God truly is no respecter of persons. This book illustrates beautifully the majesty of God's creation of man on earth. He listens to all, invites all, and blesses all.

While I am immensely grateful for the true and only Priesthood on this earth, it is comforting to know that people all over the world are living true principles and that God speaks to them as well. We're all in this together. It's only a matter of time until we're all official.

[P.S. I'm on Goodreads. Come find me.]

Baby Meetings

Don't get excited. I'm not baby hungry. Not even in the slightest. When I am, I'm sure you'll be the first to know, because I've observed that the #1 symptom of baby hunger is excessive blogging.

Baby Meetings is the affectionate (cynical) nickname I give our new teacher trainings. I meet in Orem with all the BYU people once a month. I have observation pre- and post-conferences with my mentor or principal every 3ish weeks. Every other week there is a training on class management that we are encouraged to attend, and finally Nebo School District's noob meetings once a month.

I am not bitter about these meetings, but often just confused at why new teachers, who have more work and less time than most teachers, are required to attend these meetings that just re-teach everything we just got in college, while the older teachers don't seem to know any of that information or the strategies, but never have to attend extra meetings. I suppose it may make sense in the future. Hindsight is 20/20 and all that jazz.

Anyways. On Monday we had our baby meeting and they shared with us an article by the Santa Cruz New Teacher Project, which is studying the experience of a new teacher and how to best support them. They have found that new teachers go through 5 basic phases. I found them both depressing, relieving and accurate. My husband is probably the one who needs to learn these the most, so he knows who I'm going to be over the next few weeks...

Phase 1: Anticipation

We get all anxious and excited. We completely romanticize teaching and vow to give 110% to these bright new spirits we've been appointed to educate. (HA!!!!) The adrenaline of this phase gets you through the first month. And it's just that. Complete adrenaline rush.

Phase 2: Survival

You knew you were going to be busy, but you didn't know you'd feel like you were constantly running. I've never worked harder in my life. It's like finals week every single day (so stop whining about it on Facebook. Yeah. We've all done finals weeks. You're not special.) I was staying late, going through red pens like crazy, researching all of my curriculum because I forgot so much from college and high school, and sleeping straight through the entire weekend. Despite the craziness, most teachers maintain tons of energy and basically we're just hoping it will subside. This lasted until about Fall Break.

Phase 3: Death (Just kidding. "Disillusionment")

Two months of nonstop work and stress takes its toll, physically, mentally, all of the -llys really. We start to really question our effectiveness, our self-esteem drops somewhat dramatically, and the idea that we're not even halfway done is a pretty ominous thought. Most teachers get sick in this phase as well. I hit this in early-mid November. Thankfully I've never questioned my desire to teach. There were moments when I thought "I am the worst teacher ever. I try so hard and really can't improve. I'm THAT bad." I got sick right before Thanksgiving and it really hasn't gone all the way away. I'm still functioning at like 70% healthy, with fluctuations. I think I'm on the upswing, though, and the break is coming soon. A lot of teachers also start to lose control of their classroom management. Luckily this hasn't really happened, so I'm very grateful for that.

Phase 4: Rejuvenation

This is supposed to happen over the break. We get to rest, spend time away from school, exercise, eat better, and have some time to prepare for the upcoming semester. We're ALLEGEDLY going to come back with an acceptance of the system and stresses of teachers, and be able to see our progress instead of our failures. We come back ready to make some changes and do more long-term planning instead of flying by the seat of our pants. Again, this is a myth. (No. This really will happen. We just like to pretend like we're hopeless in our baby meetings because it's hilarious.)

Phase 5: Reflection

As May rolls around and we're wrapping up, we get to look back on the year as a whole and see it for what it is. We can make better judgments about certain lessons and units, think about what we would do differently and prepare for next year. Our mentors encourage us to try to do this in bits and pieces right now. I definitely try to. Some days I take down a page of notes about how things went and how I'm going to do it differently next year. I get excited.

That's what it's all about right? Even though this death phase has been tough, I still want to do this. I'm still excited. I still love this job. It's all worth it. And thank goodness, because I would have blown my brains out already.

To My Prospective Teacher Friends: I don't write this to freak you out. I write this so you have an accurate perception of what it's like. Unfortunately my university classes only helped like 25%. The real thing is super different. But know going into it that it's all worth it IF THIS IS YOUR THING. And if it is, it's awesome.

Mad props to the Beard for sticking with me when I'm cussing out my kids as I grade tests on the couch in my grossest pajamas, not moving for days on end, eating nothing but popcorn all day and falling asleep at 8:30 pm.

Deck the Blogs

I'm over HERE today guest blogging for my bestie Eliesa about creating Christmas traditions.

Her blog is awesome so make sure to add her to your Bloglovin', RSS reader, what-have-you won't regret it.

How Getting Married Solved All My Thanksgiving Problems

There's no better time than the holidays to engage in awkward personal conversations under the pretenses of "love and concern." Though us Mormons don't get plastered and act inappropriately, we find ways to compensate. In addition to awkward conversation, I've found that large amounts of stress somehow find their way to me in the kitchen.

The solution to all of this? Marriage. Sorry @MormonGirlProbs. But it's just another thing to look forward to, right?

The first advantage I noted was the limited amount of time I had to spend in the kitchen. Usually, I would come home Wednesday night and spend that time and all day Thursday cleaning, prepping and escalating the stress in general just by virtue of my presence. Not this year. I showed up a little early to help (still dealing with inevitable stress and basic paranoia). I even got to bring something!

Secret Danica Holdaway fact: Hates pumpkin, banana cream and coconut cream pies. All the traditional Thanksgiving desserts. So I brought a dessert that I actually liked - Caramel Apple Cheesecakes. Thank you Pinterest.

During dinner, the second advantage became apparent. No longer was I forced to bear questions of "So, are you dating?" "I heard whats-her-name is getting married..." "You're turning 21, have you thought about a mission?" Even the harmless and less awkward school/BYU questions are dropped when you get married. And for the time being we're young and newly-married enough to preempt the pregnancy questions. So cheers!

Clean up? See ya later! We now get to duck out of one dinner before clean up and arrive at the other conveniently AFTER clean up. Yahtzee.

Since we got engaged I've greatly appreciated the doubled family. It's great to get to see both of them. We're so lucky to have them both close. But on Thanksgiving, not only do we enjoy the company of two families, but the delicious desserts of each. The best of both worlds, if you will.

If Mapleton Jr. High was InStyle Magazine, No One Would Be on the Cover

Teachers are often, stereotypically, thought of as frumpy. And we've never blamed them. Do you want to get all dressed up to get covered in glue and peanut butter sandwiches or to babysit a bunch of punk teenagers? No. Why in the world would you do that? Sometimes teachers "let themselves go" because they are underpaid for hours of work and stress, are targeted and punished for the failing education system whilst trying their best (usually. hopefully.) and on top of that are raising families, young and old.

Anyways, my point here is that I understand that. But I'm going to do my best to avoid it for as long as possible, hopefully forever. In fact, my style has done nothing but improve since I've become a teacher. It's been a process.

I think it began with Ryan. When we started dating, I started trying harder. I also had more places to go and more people to see when we were dating, because we went out all the time. I wanted to look good and wanted Ryan's friends to think I was pretty. You know. All that vanity and stuff.

This summer, with that whole getting married business, my style started to evolve. I had to be more selective about the length and cuts of my clothes, and sometimes things like shirtdresses and sequined tanks are easily labeled as "Singles Clothes." So those were passed off to my little sisters. No tears were shed. (Some tears were shed.)

I went shopping a few times before school and right after school started, and I was so pleased. I used to come home with a bag full of gray and black hues. But this fall I started to mix it up. I came home with wide leg gray and blue trousers, skinny cropped khakis, a khaki twill pencil skirt and printed dresses. Instead of my standard v-neck or detailed tank and cardigan, I mixed it up with blouses and shirts, styles I'd been too scared to try, and even rolled the dice on some FANTASTIC leopard print booties I'd been coveting.

I worried that buying things that were more adult and conservative for school would make me boring. That hasn't been the case. These kids see me every day, so I weirdly care that I don't wear the exact same outfit twice. I HAVE to mix it up a little even though they wouldn't necessarily notice. Also, I'm like 5'4" and young. I NEED to dress well to set me apart from these little (lovable) punks. In a sea of skinny jeans and Toms, a pair of slacks can go a long way.

I didn't think I'd be able to rock heels - that's usually a church only thing - but when you get the right comfortable pair (read: wedges) they aren't bad, even when I'm on my feet running around my room all day. I love it. I love being able to look down instead of up at (most) kids.

That's right. Forget those stupid stories your mom told you about girls camp with me a few years ago. Pick my colored pencils up off the ground.

Also, when you're an intern and really care about teaching and want to get a job, style is one way to show you're serious about it, especially when you are an exhausted slave intern. I'm not afraid to volunteer for things and speak up in meetings, but the most obvious, daily indication of dedication to your job it dressing for it. (If I was dressing for the job I WANT, like everyone advises you to do, I'd be in basketball shorts preparing to analyze yet another season of The Office for NBC.)

Ok. Here's what I was really getting to.

My tips for stepping up your fashion game.

1. Start with inspiration. Decide what your style is. I've been thinking I like the preppy look for years, but in reality I never wear it. How do you do this, you say? Well, Pinterest, obviously. Start pinning outfits and items you like. Then look at your board as a whole and assess. Oh, you actually like more feminine stuff than you thought? Me too.

2. Clean house. Get rid of crap. You know right now there is a ton of stuff in your closet that

A. Doesn't fit.

B. You hate.

C. You have no idea where it came from.

D. Hasn't been worn (in the appropriate season) in forever.

E. Doesn't really work with your new style inspiration via Pinterest.

F. All of the above.

Get rid of it! I always have to make a "tentative" pile. I put stuff that fits the above categories in there, and if I haven't pulled from it in a month or so, it goes. Never look back. Trust me. It makes more room for good stuff so you can look awesome. Think of it that way.

Check out Kendi Everyday's "Create a Working Closet" for some awesome tips from a fashion wizard. That's how I started. And it's well worth the tears. (Just kidding)

3. The best part: Go Shopping! I always look through my Pinterest boards, saved pictures and blog posts to see what I should be looking for. I will usually make an "URGENT" list of 4 or 5 things that I absolutely NEED. (Ryan has a different definition for the word "need"....) Shop with what you FEEL. Does that denim jacket speak to you? Trick question, because denim jackets look gross on everyone. But a chambray button-up? Yeah! Buy it!

4. Use accessories to mix up old stuff. I may wear the same outfit, but I change my shoes, hair and jewelry and it becomes something new. Don't get boring. Forever 21 is a great place to find jewelry that works for people of all ages, relatively cheap. Non-committal. Be cheaply brave.

5. If you're EXTRA brave, which I am not, you can try the 30 for 30 challenge, where you remix a limited number of pieces for 30 days. Again, Kendi Everyday should be your guide.

6. Finally, keep evolving. My new rule that I'm alternately hating and loving is that for every item of clothing I buy, I have to throw one out (with the exception of staple pieces - blazers, pencil skirts, plain white tees, etc). This helps me decide if I REALLY want something, because if I do, I'm willing to ditch something for it. It also helps me eliminate pieces from my wardrobe that need to go. Thus my closet is only getting better and more manageable! Can you believe it?!

How do YOU mix it up with your closet? What about pumping up your style for the holidays? What fashion blogs/Pinterest accounts are you obsessed with for fashion? Please! I need even MORE reasons to online shop!

I Put the "It" in "Fitness"

I let my Gold's Gym pass expire. I used to hit the gym all the time and I loved it. Especially going to Jim's (silver fox) yoga class in Orem. However, once I started dating The Beard my free time pretty much disappeared. No complaints here. I actually ate better and less, because I had to. I played some intramural soccer and city rec. slowpitch, which is fun. (Anyone playing any sports give me call. I'm dece.)

Once I started teaching my daily stress level rose a little, and I was having trouble sleeping. I knew I would feel better if I exercised, but I never wanted to go to the gym. I can't risk running into weird people from my ward and high school, god forbid any students. But something had to be done. I hate running, by the way. So not an option.

I had set up our Wii and played a few rounds of Just Dance since we'd moved in, and I was slowly becoming addicted to it. Problem solved. Just Dance has a function for fitness called "Just Sweat." It tracks your calories burnt and sets you up for a weeklong program with an intensity of your choosing. Yahtzee..

So here's my daily routine. I know you're dying to hear it. I do school, stay only as long as I absolutely need to, then come home and immediately change into my yoga pants. I Just Dance it up, without shame, sucking down water and panting, until my husband comes home from work and laughs at me. Every day. Then I quickly pretend like I'm not 14 and run into the kitchen to start dinner. Some days if I feel like being an adult I'll do the yoga app session that comes with my DVD player. But lets be honest. Who picks yoga over this? (Also picture me doing this furiously, alone in my living room. 22 years of age.)