Tumbling

I am migrating. I may be back. There's no way of knowing.

But for now. Please join me HERE. I think you'll find it's worth it.

Kthxbye

Bridezillas: The Epidemic

Don't worry. I'm not turning this into a wedding blog, a place to vent or a glorified to do list. You guys know me better than that. So you can keep reading.

It is a prevalent stereotype (and I feel like an accurate one) that weddings induce crazy stress and infect young girls with the Bridezilla virus. As it courses through her veins, her blood pressure rises. Her resting heart rate jumps. Her pupils dilate. The ringing in her ears can not be identified or halted. Paranoia ensues. And that's it--she's at the mercy of Bridezillitis, to be released no sooner than the day of the wedding.

I've been anxiously anticipating my imminent infection and subsequent mutation. [Unfortunately not cool like X-Men.] I knew that if anyone was prepared with skills of planning, comparing, coordinating, organizing, making rational decisions and creating lists like a BOSS, it was me. But that wouldn't save me. That's not the inoculation. Sooner or later it would hit me.

But it hasn't. It should have. Especially with a 2-month engagement and an empty classroom with my name on it waiting for me immediately afterwards. Especially since I'm the least creative, crafty, design-y person you know or will ever know. Especially since I'm only about half way through planning. Why hasn't it hit me? Why haven't I freaked out? Why am I still a "gush geyser" (as Ryan so lovingly calls me)?

At dinner with our friends last night, they asked how the wedding planning was going. I updated them on our plans and remarked how fun it had been. Everything had been falling into place and I hadn't been stressed at all. I was just excited and happy. Then Becca said something that made so much sense.

"There are two types of brides. And only two. There are girls who are excited for and preparing for the wedding, and then there are girls who are excited for and preparing for the marriage."

I would say the second is true for me. I'm definitely excited for the wedding and our party is gonna be BOMB. Seriously. You're all invited, obvs. Don't miss it. But we're getting married for the right reasons and the wedding is just means to an end. That's why everything is just a fun addition. THAT'S THE INOCULATION!!!!!

But really. I meant it when I said this wasn't a wedding blog. This was real inspiration stuff. What Becca said reminded me of a catchphrase used by Brother Goodman, my freshman year Mission Prep teacher.

"Why am I doing?"

Grammatically incorrect (sorry Cristina). Yet poignant. He said that we should always ask ourselves "Why am I doing ___?" That's always stuck with me. Our underlying motivation matters, and the thought really does count. Awareness of our motivation protects us from bad decisions, prevents us from wasting our time, and ensures our maximum satisfaction.

I may have this figured out in the wedding prep sphere. But the challenge will be to continue to focus on what matters. In other spheres of my life, I definitely don't have this principle figured out. Why am I at work? Because I have to be. Because I need to get paid. But it should be because I want to help the Library Administration Office. Because I take pride in my work. Because I want to develop good work habits and skills.

Why am I hanging out with my family? Why am I going to church? Why am I drinking so much Diet Coke?

Why are YOU doing?

Sparkly like a Vampire

I'm sure you've heard by now.... I'm engaged!

I've found it. Gushy, all-consuming, inconvenient, fuzzy, warm love. Soon to be ironclad in the Salt Lake Temple. {July 22, 2011}

I'm that girl now. The girl blogging about her perfect fiance and charmed life. I'm that girl that giggles to herself and pretends to be cool, while actually fighting the idiot grin constantly threatening to spread across my face. I'm that girl. And I'm sorry. Please forgive and humor me.

Some people have been surprised. I kept Ryan and our relationship on the DL for a long time. I haven't been super gushy (right? just agree with me). And we're getting married so soon!

Well. It's actually been a long time coming. We've had our temple date since early March. We went ring shopping in February. I have a dress (!), photographer, reception center, and many other items planned out. We've been waiting on a ring. Which has been a fiasco. [For those of you who heard from my MOTHER that I was engaged, I'm sorry. I didn't forget to tell you. I just wasn't engaged. We were waiting on the ring. Which is well worth the wait. It's perfect. And he did it all by himself. I picked a good one.]

Anyways. The ring came. Ryan was going to propose on Wednesday. But I was mad at him. He was going to propose Thursday afternoon. But I was mad at him. After all this stress and time, I'M the one preventing my own engagement. My life is a sitcom.

Later Thursday night, once everyone (me) was happy and calm again, we enjoyed Office/Parks n Rec night with my family. Everyone went off to bed and we were just hanging out. We started talking about wedding plans and Ryan was being super sweet. [I mean. He was being really badass and cool. He has a reputation to maintain.] He started telling the story of Danica Ewok Dumbledore Megatron Calrissian Budge (long story), chronicling our friendship and dating, and then he got to the best part - deciding to get married. I felt him slide something metal onto my finger and obviously started freaking out. He said some more nice things. And then he said IT.

"Will you marry me?"

Yes. Yes I will.

Got Brains?

Now that I'm done with school (I still do a victory dance every time I get to say that), I finally have time to read. I was finally able to start this zombie book I've been wanting to read for a while, which has rekindled my zombie love once again.

Zombie literature/cinema/pop culture is becoming much more trendy. Which for once I think is great. So many people think zombie stuff is just about gore and terror. Great characteristics, but not vitally important to good zombie material. Scary movies are what led me to zombie stuff, but it's the realism that really addicted me. What if there was a zombie apocalypse? Would you live in a mall? Which person in your family would be the one to completely lose their heads and run screaming into a horde of ghouls? Would humanity be preserved? Is emotion humanity's greatest strength, or will it prove its downfall? This is deep stuff, you guys.

So now. Without further ado, my top zombie picks:

1. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. What started it all. I got this book and read it rapidly over Christmas break last year. It combined two of my favorite things - the wit, intrigue and romance of an Austen novel with the intensity, fear and violence of apocalyptic fiction. Fantastic. People have asked "Well doesn't it take away from P&P?" My answer is no. It absolutely does not. He sticks to the story and shows supreme respect for Austen's work. This is hands down my favorite book. I love it. With all my heart.

2. Zombieland. This movie is hilarious and entertaining. Great acting. Great effects. Overuse of the f-word (sorry). Just all around awesome.


3. The Zombie Survival Guide. The Beard gave me this for Christmas and I haven't had a chance to read it until now. It's incredible. Max Brooks is awesome. He details categories of zombie breakouts, weapon use, stealth methods, anything you can think of. It's completely serious. I love it.

4. Humans vs. Zombies. Utah State University participated in this Zombie Week game where people were tagged as zombies and their goal was to infect as many people as possible, and students could defend themselves with Nerf guns. That alone was almost enough to make me want to change my major and transfer. No way would BYU ever OK something like this. Still. I am now adding to my list of goals that I would like to participate in this game at some point in my life. Learn more about it at Humansvszombies.org.

5. World War Z. Another Max Brooks classic. If you are into historical fiction, military fiction, action, or apocalyptic stuff, this book is for you. It's a collection of stories from all kinds of people documenting the different stages and location of the Zombie War. Incredible. The detail and seriousness that Max Brooks achieves is stunning. I couldn't put it down. Thanks to my zombie buddy and co-worker Chris for lending it to me! I'll give it back someday...

These are my top 5, but I have quite a few more recommendations, if you are looking for more. Try it. Try some Zombies. It might surprise you how much you like it. It's not just about eating brains, after all...

Humongous Chocolate Bunny or Bust

Someone finished all her schooling this week.

Someone is excited for this upcoming weekend (reception tonight, shopping with mom and sister tomorrow, coloring Easter eggs with my favorite girls, not doing homework, and of course, eating one of these bad boys.)


Someone can't stop reading fashion blogs to plan outfits days in advance. {Obsessed with The Daybook and What I Wore right now.}

Someone is spending too much time online shopping for Easter dresses and coveting new spring shoes.



Someone will be learning to play Starcraft soon.

Someone joined a coed slowpitch softball team. Yikes.

Someone can't stop smiling.

Pretty (Ugly) People

Last week I watched the 1996 version of Jane Eyre, starring Charlotte Gainsbourg as Jane and William Hurt as Rochester. This is one of my favorite books (read it. I'll lend it to you) and I'm getting excited for the new version to hit only select theaters this weekend. Honestly, I probably won't see it until I can Redbox it, but I'm still excited. I thought this was a great representation, but I found myself mildly dissatisfied.


No one wants to watch two ugly people kiss and fall in love.

Sorry. But I'm right. Why do we go see movies? Because they transport us to another time, another place, another life. Why would we trade for something average? Pointless.

I would never knock the genius of the Bronte sisters. I love the book. I fully recognize that major parts of the theme and storyline are the physical appearances of Jane and Edward, Jane's humble upbringing, the status difference between them, and so on. I know. I get it. In the book it doesn't bother me. I tend to focus so much more on the dialogue, creating less of a mental picture. But when I'm watching the movie I can't help but think....



Ugh.

Is it too much to ask that actors be cast (even if inappropriately) that are attractive? Its so much easier for me to watch. Every romantic garden scene, every lingering glance would be safe from my interrupting thought of "Well this might be more gush-worthy if it wasn't two uncomfortably average-looking people." Does this make me a shallow, entertainment-seeking American? Probably. It would be worth it.

Pros and Conference

Conference hands me the best two weekends of the year. Pajamas, food and hearing the inspired words of prophets and apostles of the Lord. Yahtzee. In addition there were movies, family, mocktails and plenty of baseball. My only complaint is that it was too short. Usually when I have an awesome weekend I feel like throwing myself in front of a semi on Monday morning because it's another 5 days filled with adulthood and responsibility. Today is different, though. And it's all because of Conference.

Conference serves as a gentle, poignant reminder of where I fall short, but with the positive hope of possibility. Rather than making me feel inadequate, Conference inspires me to be better and to leave behind the habits and choices that are holding me back. When a young infielder watches professional athletes, it doesn't make him feel inadequate or worthless. He watches them with wide eyes, thinking

"I wanna be like that."

Of course Christ is our ultimate example. But these brethren provide additional, frequent examples of Gospel living. They are our professional athletes. And this is the World Series.


At the conclusion of each semiannual General Conference, I have starred 3 or 4 talks that were my favorites or the most applicable. Every time, EVERY TIME, this guy makes the cut.


I love him. Always have. I don't know if it's his personality, manner of speaking, businesslike approach or if he's my patron apostle, but whatever it is, Dallin H. Oaks gets me every time. And by "gets me" I mean "makes me grin sheepishly, swallow hard and commit to real change" all with an enduring sense of positive realism and pure love. His talk about desire was fantastic. So tailored to my faults, strengths and needs. I've been struggling (and failing) lately to manage my priorities. I have been thinking only of the personal, immediate, selfish benefits of my choices, rather than the long term effects and underlying desires. Our choices indicate who and what we are, right? So that must mean I'm a sleepy, lazy, to-do list making, Diet Coke-drinking couch potato. But that's not me! That's not who I am. Promise! But that's what my senioritis/Spring Fever/burnt out/twitterpated girlfriend-driven choices have been. Texting during or ditching class is giving me no additional satisfaction. Avoiding work and roommate situations is not teaching me anything. Shirking the gym for some Office on my couch is not giving me any more energy. So what am I doing? What are my underlying desires, and therefore, priorities? Touche, Dallin. Touche.

Elder Scott is such a sweetheart. He made me cry! That talk was so tender and loving. It made me want to be the kind of wife that Sister Scott was, so that I can enjoy the beautiful blessings of celestial marriage like they have (and will). All the talk and counsel for the temple, marriage, and parenting was so inspiring and exciting. I can't wait till my May Ensign comes and I can study more in depth the words of these awesome General Authorities.

Oh and did anyone else notice (and chuckle) at the major theme running through several sessions? "Married by October" is the much-needed and socially sensitive message for young single men (and women, sort of). I will say one thing. It is a problem. They wouldn't have addressed it 3 separate times (that I can recall) if it wasn't. But I want to assert on behalf of single girls throughout the church-- We know. We know you aren't all worthless douchebags. {Sorry?} We know its demanding and expensive and scary. And we know you'll be amazing husbands and fathers. We know you're not bad guys. Just scared ones. And we're scared too! If we can walk by faith and help each other out, we all win. I salute you, young single men. Good luck in your quest. I've got a lot of single friends if you're looking. {Which you should be.}

Sidebar -- I'm glad to be dating someone who has his act together. It kept that message from being awkward and uncomfortable. Props to all my friends who aren't man-babies.

So conference was awesome. I also attended a bridal shower for my cute friend Sam at the ever-chic Spark. It was a really classy shower complete with non-alcoholic martinis and cupcakes. It's great to see Sam so happy as she prepares to marry her best friend in the temple.


During Priesthood session, I went to dinner and to see Hop, which I surprisingly LOVED. I grumbled about it a lot. And then laughed through the entire thing. Also watched Tangled with my boyfriend's little sisters on Friday and it was so adorable! We spent all weekend house-hopping, baseball-watching and eating delicious food. Now it's Monday morning and I've got a full schedule of work, class, homework, errands and obligations. But I'm excited. Life goes on and only gets better.