BFFaeae (Best Friends Forever and ever and ever)

Before Chistmas I got together with a few of my softball friends from high school for delicious Mexican food at Los Hermanos. Although Gabi, Holli, Kandice and Sar-Bear couldn't make it, me, Kellie, Keeli and Kayla had a great time. I'm so lucky to have such great friends. Gosh I love these girls.

After Senior Day 2008

Every so often we try to put together these dinners to see one another and catch up. Each time, our lives have changed more dramatically, and more of us live farther from Springville. I love hearing everyone's updates because it's so surreal that we are all real adults with real lives. Imagine that.

Dinner at P.F. Changs in 2009

Some of us are married. Some still dating. Some in school. Some graduated. Some in Springville. Some in West Jordan, Ogden and Kentucky.

At my wedding in July 2011

None of us have kids yet. So that's something. Doesn't this look like a group of great future mothers?

80's Stomp 2007

Some of these girls I haven't seen in over a year. But it doesn't matter. We don't miss a beat. Within minutes we are "glory days"-ing and laughing over inside jokes from 2002 or earlier.

Senior Softball Photos 2008

I'm so lucky to have these girls that are still counted among my best friends, 5 years after high school.  They still know me better than almost anyone (Beard). Friends 4 evaaaaaaaa.

Senior Prom 2008

The Beard and I talk about this often, especially when we are talking with our single male friends:

A girl having a somewhat consistent, long-term group of friends is a good sign of stability and low levels of crazy. Despite the duck faces. 

Sunshine Tournament 2007

We always tell our guy friends that a girl that has a different girlfriend every time you see her - run. Run fast and far.

Because those girls are even too crazy for OTHER GIRLS.

Yikes.

Pants Me

What am I wearing on Sunday? None of your business. Because it isn't a fashion show.

It isn't a private school with mandatory uniforms.

And it definitely isn't a venue for protest.

Do I care the most miniscule amount if you wear pants to church? No. I don't. And neither does anyone else. Except perhaps the really old school people. But they probably also hate that you use your iPhone for scriptures.

And even they don't want you to wear to wear skirts as a sign of submission. NO ONE DOES.

The idea behind "Sunday Best" is showing the Lord that you are dressing your nicest to dedicate time to worship him. If your nicest attire is a classy pantsuit, awesome. AWESOME. Wear it. Bully for you. No one cares. A lady in my ward used to and literally no one cared.

But pants will never be a sign of equality. Wearing pants is not going to mend this false sense of inequality and insecurity you feel in the Church.

The Church does not treat women unfairly. If anything we are actually shielded and protected from some of the tougher and rougher elements of life and responsibility.

If you feel unequal, I'd start taking a look at the people with whom you surround yourself. I don't doubt that there are men (and women) in your life that may treat you as subordinate or look down on you. Maybe even men in positions of authority in the local church.

But how many times do you need to hear that the Church is perfect but the members are not?

How many times do you need to read Alma & Amulek's sermon to the poor and rejected that weren't allowed to worship they way they wanted? (Thank GOODNESS they didn't have the burden of not wearing pants to deal with! Can you imagine?!)

How many times to I need to write snarky, unChristlike blog posts about these ridiculous Mormon fad groups?!!!!!

I'm wearing my nicest skirt to Church on Sunday. If you hadn't guessed.

Dating for Dummies: Married Edition

We had the best date night last Monday. So great that it made us realize how lame we normally are with our date nights. We do really easy, comfortable, familiar things usually. At least we are good about having a "date night" once a week, I guess.

Anyway. If you're like us and need to spruce up the ol' date night, we somehow succeeded. Here are the key elements, as I see it.

Plan it in advance. Think back to your days of "Planned, Paired Off and Paid For." Even if it's simple, a little planning and scheduling in advance is the best. It's something to put on the calendar and look forward to. 

(The Beard got tickets to this Jazz game in the Larry H. Miller Suite a few weeks ago. So fun.)

Make the transportation part of your date - whether that's taking a scenic route, parking and walking a few blocks to your restaurant, or listening to specific music in the car makes that time more memorable.

(We took the Trax from Sandy to Downtown - neither of us being big Trax users. Best people watching of all time. We also did a Backstreet Boys singalong on the way home, but that's pretty normal.)

Do something new, like a restaurant you've never tried or a store you've never been in.

(Z'Tejas was a last minute decision but the giant bowl of guacamole made right at our table was the highlight of my night. It's rare that I can weasel the Beard out of Italian and into Mexican food, so when it's yummy I rub it in.)

Positive Conversation is where it's at. Focus on things you love, things you're excited for and retelling old stories. 

(We have been trying so hard to not complain about our jobs, and it's paying off. We talked about our families, Christmas plans, single girls to set our single guys up with, and of course Glen Coco.)

And finally, the best discovery I made was actually an unfortunate accident. 

And the reason I have no pictures. Not even of my outfit. I wore a Star Wars graphic tee, blazer, cropped pants and leopard studded loafers. Definitely outfit-post worthy, but we missed it. Just imagine it, would you? Here's my outfit today anyways. Not as cute. Much more teacher-y. But I finally got a polka dot sweater! Blogger win!

Puppy: Heaven, sweater: Forever 21, chambray shirt: Old Navy, pants: Gap, boots: Forever Young

Turn your phone off, leave it in the car, silent mode, whatever you need to do. You become so much more mentally present and engaged when your phone/Twitter/Instagram isn't buzzing in the back of your mind.

At first I was bummed that I couldn't post a pic and live tweet the game, but it only lasted about a minute. Once I realized I didn't have to check my phone constantly and could give the Beard my full attention, the night just took off. 

I realized that THAT is what a date truly is. Devoting your attention to one person for a few hours to show them you care and really want to know them. After 7 years of dating you would think I'd have figured that out by now.

Well I've figured it out now. And I'm super excited for more phone-less dates with that bearded guy I like.

Coming Soon to a Theater Near You: Your Life

We were recently invited to join a book club by our chic friend Cambri Christensen Visser. I was completely and totally psyched. I love to read and I never know WHAT to read. Goodreads is great and I like to use it for inspiration. But almost more than reading the books, I love TALKING about books. When I read Gone Girl over fall break I was dying to talk to someone, anyone about it and none of my friends had read it. Pure hell.

So a book club is the best scenario of all time. Books. Friends. Discussion. Food. Yahtzee. I'm looking to get involved in a few more. Message me if you're interested. Srsly.

The book we chose for our first round was "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller. He is a memoir-humor-lifestyle-self help-religion-grab bag writer. I have his signature name-making book "Blue Like Jazz" on hold for pickup at the library and I can't wait to grab it tomorrow and begin devouring it like this one.

It is, in a word, inspirhilariawesome. Because I couldn't use just one word to describe it. Especially for a somewhat rootless, disillusioned, bored 20-something, it just hit me right in the heart. Not with fear, shock or even poignancy, but with simple truth.

The premise of the book is that Donald Miller is spinning his wheels, bored in the lull after the success of "Blue Like Jazz." Some filmmakers approach him out of the blue and want to make a movie about his life/memoir. Suddenly, Miller is faced with the amazing opportunity to deeply examine and even rewrite his own life. The lessons he learns along the way are amazing and so completely applicable to our lives.

The main theme is that we are all living "stories." He begins seeing himself as a character while trying to write his life script, and sees that its probably the way God sees us in the stories where He places us. We have a lot of control in our stories, but He is there, whispering in our ears the elements to make our story better if we will just listen to him.

Story elements apply to our lives. Quotable bits like "When we live a story we are telling the people around us what we think is important" and "if the character hasn't changed, the story isn't over yet" really made me think about my life as a story that I want to spice up. Good characters face trials and challenges, have to do some good to be likable, and always come out on top in the end. Eventually.

Another big theme was the idea that WE have to make our story readable. Tellable. Interesting. Miller realizes when the filmmakers try to make up parts of his story that his true story isn't interesting enough for the screen.

Is mine? Is yours? If a filmmaker sat down with you to make a movie of your life, would it make a good movie? Probably not. Sorry. No offense. Mine would be super boring too. I spend far too much time on the couch watching The Office and reading fashion blog/magazines to make my life interesting.

At that point, Miller does a number of things to make his life a good "story." He tries to find his estranged father. He hikes to Macchu Picchu in Peru. He bikes across the United States. It's not easy. He has an incredibly difficult, even painful time. But he knows that it's the right thing to do and he learns that pain wins you things. Like experience. Knowledge. And scenes.

The most visual, personally applicable part was his description of scenes. Great movies, great stories, have great scenes. Think of an action hero walking calmly away from an expanding explosion. A romantic kiss in the rain. A meditating character at sunset. Think of your favorite movie and you're sure to recall a "scene."

Now think of your favorite memories in life. Likely they are "scenes" as well. They don't often come reading on the couch, Danica. Miller notes that many of his favorite scenes happen in the outdoors while DOING things. Point taken. I'll get out and DO more. But maybe not till this snow melts in the spring...

What I walked away with, was that my life can be an incredible story. You just need to be willing to accept an "inciting incident." Accept pain. Accept challenge. Get out of your box, so to speak. Do good things that will make you the type of character viewer/readers want to root for. Make memorable scenes. Listen to your screenwriter, God, whispering your cue in the corner of your ear. Live like a documentary crew is following you around, day in and day out.

Live your life like it's a story that you'd want to pay $8.50 and a bucket of popcorn for.

Start by reading this book.

Then email me so we can talk more about it.