Bridezillas: The Epidemic

Don't worry. I'm not turning this into a wedding blog, a place to vent or a glorified to do list. You guys know me better than that. So you can keep reading.

It is a prevalent stereotype (and I feel like an accurate one) that weddings induce crazy stress and infect young girls with the Bridezilla virus. As it courses through her veins, her blood pressure rises. Her resting heart rate jumps. Her pupils dilate. The ringing in her ears can not be identified or halted. Paranoia ensues. And that's it--she's at the mercy of Bridezillitis, to be released no sooner than the day of the wedding.

I've been anxiously anticipating my imminent infection and subsequent mutation. [Unfortunately not cool like X-Men.] I knew that if anyone was prepared with skills of planning, comparing, coordinating, organizing, making rational decisions and creating lists like a BOSS, it was me. But that wouldn't save me. That's not the inoculation. Sooner or later it would hit me.

But it hasn't. It should have. Especially with a 2-month engagement and an empty classroom with my name on it waiting for me immediately afterwards. Especially since I'm the least creative, crafty, design-y person you know or will ever know. Especially since I'm only about half way through planning. Why hasn't it hit me? Why haven't I freaked out? Why am I still a "gush geyser" (as Ryan so lovingly calls me)?

At dinner with our friends last night, they asked how the wedding planning was going. I updated them on our plans and remarked how fun it had been. Everything had been falling into place and I hadn't been stressed at all. I was just excited and happy. Then Becca said something that made so much sense.

"There are two types of brides. And only two. There are girls who are excited for and preparing for the wedding, and then there are girls who are excited for and preparing for the marriage."

I would say the second is true for me. I'm definitely excited for the wedding and our party is gonna be BOMB. Seriously. You're all invited, obvs. Don't miss it. But we're getting married for the right reasons and the wedding is just means to an end. That's why everything is just a fun addition. THAT'S THE INOCULATION!!!!!

But really. I meant it when I said this wasn't a wedding blog. This was real inspiration stuff. What Becca said reminded me of a catchphrase used by Brother Goodman, my freshman year Mission Prep teacher.

"Why am I doing?"

Grammatically incorrect (sorry Cristina). Yet poignant. He said that we should always ask ourselves "Why am I doing ___?" That's always stuck with me. Our underlying motivation matters, and the thought really does count. Awareness of our motivation protects us from bad decisions, prevents us from wasting our time, and ensures our maximum satisfaction.

I may have this figured out in the wedding prep sphere. But the challenge will be to continue to focus on what matters. In other spheres of my life, I definitely don't have this principle figured out. Why am I at work? Because I have to be. Because I need to get paid. But it should be because I want to help the Library Administration Office. Because I take pride in my work. Because I want to develop good work habits and skills.

Why am I hanging out with my family? Why am I going to church? Why am I drinking so much Diet Coke?

Why are YOU doing?

Sparkly like a Vampire

I'm sure you've heard by now.... I'm engaged!

I've found it. Gushy, all-consuming, inconvenient, fuzzy, warm love. Soon to be ironclad in the Salt Lake Temple. {July 22, 2011}

I'm that girl now. The girl blogging about her perfect fiance and charmed life. I'm that girl that giggles to herself and pretends to be cool, while actually fighting the idiot grin constantly threatening to spread across my face. I'm that girl. And I'm sorry. Please forgive and humor me.

Some people have been surprised. I kept Ryan and our relationship on the DL for a long time. I haven't been super gushy (right? just agree with me). And we're getting married so soon!

Well. It's actually been a long time coming. We've had our temple date since early March. We went ring shopping in February. I have a dress (!), photographer, reception center, and many other items planned out. We've been waiting on a ring. Which has been a fiasco. [For those of you who heard from my MOTHER that I was engaged, I'm sorry. I didn't forget to tell you. I just wasn't engaged. We were waiting on the ring. Which is well worth the wait. It's perfect. And he did it all by himself. I picked a good one.]

Anyways. The ring came. Ryan was going to propose on Wednesday. But I was mad at him. He was going to propose Thursday afternoon. But I was mad at him. After all this stress and time, I'M the one preventing my own engagement. My life is a sitcom.

Later Thursday night, once everyone (me) was happy and calm again, we enjoyed Office/Parks n Rec night with my family. Everyone went off to bed and we were just hanging out. We started talking about wedding plans and Ryan was being super sweet. [I mean. He was being really badass and cool. He has a reputation to maintain.] He started telling the story of Danica Ewok Dumbledore Megatron Calrissian Budge (long story), chronicling our friendship and dating, and then he got to the best part - deciding to get married. I felt him slide something metal onto my finger and obviously started freaking out. He said some more nice things. And then he said IT.

"Will you marry me?"

Yes. Yes I will.

Got Brains?

Now that I'm done with school (I still do a victory dance every time I get to say that), I finally have time to read. I was finally able to start this zombie book I've been wanting to read for a while, which has rekindled my zombie love once again.

Zombie literature/cinema/pop culture is becoming much more trendy. Which for once I think is great. So many people think zombie stuff is just about gore and terror. Great characteristics, but not vitally important to good zombie material. Scary movies are what led me to zombie stuff, but it's the realism that really addicted me. What if there was a zombie apocalypse? Would you live in a mall? Which person in your family would be the one to completely lose their heads and run screaming into a horde of ghouls? Would humanity be preserved? Is emotion humanity's greatest strength, or will it prove its downfall? This is deep stuff, you guys.

So now. Without further ado, my top zombie picks:

1. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. What started it all. I got this book and read it rapidly over Christmas break last year. It combined two of my favorite things - the wit, intrigue and romance of an Austen novel with the intensity, fear and violence of apocalyptic fiction. Fantastic. People have asked "Well doesn't it take away from P&P?" My answer is no. It absolutely does not. He sticks to the story and shows supreme respect for Austen's work. This is hands down my favorite book. I love it. With all my heart.

2. Zombieland. This movie is hilarious and entertaining. Great acting. Great effects. Overuse of the f-word (sorry). Just all around awesome.


3. The Zombie Survival Guide. The Beard gave me this for Christmas and I haven't had a chance to read it until now. It's incredible. Max Brooks is awesome. He details categories of zombie breakouts, weapon use, stealth methods, anything you can think of. It's completely serious. I love it.

4. Humans vs. Zombies. Utah State University participated in this Zombie Week game where people were tagged as zombies and their goal was to infect as many people as possible, and students could defend themselves with Nerf guns. That alone was almost enough to make me want to change my major and transfer. No way would BYU ever OK something like this. Still. I am now adding to my list of goals that I would like to participate in this game at some point in my life. Learn more about it at Humansvszombies.org.

5. World War Z. Another Max Brooks classic. If you are into historical fiction, military fiction, action, or apocalyptic stuff, this book is for you. It's a collection of stories from all kinds of people documenting the different stages and location of the Zombie War. Incredible. The detail and seriousness that Max Brooks achieves is stunning. I couldn't put it down. Thanks to my zombie buddy and co-worker Chris for lending it to me! I'll give it back someday...

These are my top 5, but I have quite a few more recommendations, if you are looking for more. Try it. Try some Zombies. It might surprise you how much you like it. It's not just about eating brains, after all...