That's Why You're Single....

Valentime's day was awesome. The Beard nailed it, obviously. We started with a classy dinner at Magleby's and then followed it up with our V-day tradition - The Cocoa Bean.

I love the Cocoa Bean. It's well documented. No offense to the Sweet Tooth Fairy lovers, but I've always preferred Cocoa Bean's cupcakes, and their drinks are unbeatable. Everyone knows this.

LAO Crew, circa 2010

So Tuesday night, Valentine's Day, we are chilling at Cocoa Bean, enjoying our delicious drinks and the superb people watching, when two girls walk in.

Sweats & Uggs.

McDonald's bag of food.

5 Cupcakes between them. 5!!!!

Who ARE these people? I'm all for self-medicating and indulging once in a while. But a bag of McDonald's and 5 cupcakes? In public?!!!! You couldn't get them to go and eat at home? You couldn't at least put on some jeans and just eat your single cupcake with your girlfriend in public? There are so many wrong choices here, I can't even pinpoint the worst one.

Wait. Yes I can. It's the five cupcakes between two girls. Balanced precariously among the purses and McDonald's on the tiny cafe table.

I know you "don't care." YOU SHOULD CARE. This is what gives Provo a bad name. If you don't value yourself and want to be something great, how do you expect a young man to "man up" and see you with value? I'm not even going to ADDRESS the unhealthy status of your diet. Have some self respect. Until you do, you're likely to spend every Valentine's day with fast food.

Is that mean? I'm no longer single (praise the Lord), so I have little sympathy for these girls, but I was once in this position. I never ate a full bag of McDonald's and 5 cupcakes, but I've had those days. And I feel qualified to say that the turning point came when I woke up. I met The Beard (in his beardless days, believe it or not), and he was so vibrant, so fun, so lively. My life had lacked that for a while. But he made me see who I wanted to be. I wanted to be the girl that could match that. I finally started being the person I wanted to be - the one that a great guy wanted to marry and have forever.

And that girl does NOT wear sweats and Uggs to eat fast food and cupcakes in public.

Come on, sweetheart. It's for your own good. Trust me. I'm a married woman.

ValenTIMES Day

I love Valentines Day. I always have. Even when I was single, I prided myself on not being one of those bitter girls. You know the types.

1. The Denier. Boycotts Valentine's Day by watching violent movies, wearing all black, locking themselves in their apartments. I bet that makes you feel better, huh?

2. The Annoyer. Pretends to not care, has a loud, obnoxious girls night by taking the tables meant for couples at the chic sushi restaurant. We get it. You're SOOOOO independent.

3. The Whiner. Basically just drops pity-party comments like "Well, if I HAD anyone to spend it with..." "These hearts just remind me that I'm alone, hahahaha! *sob*" There is a reason you're alone, sweetheart.

Celebrate LOVE you guys! It doesn't matter if you don't have it yet! It's ok. And it's ok for other couples to celebrate. The flowers, chocolates and teddy bears might be tacky, but it's not the items. It's a celebration of LOVE!

Last year's Valentine's, or ValenTIMES, as Ryan calls it, was amazing. Ryan surprised me with dinner at Shoga, a completely shocking ring shopping trip, and hilarious people watching at the Cocoa Bean. It was perfect. For our first married Valentimes we wanted to keep the pace.

Ryan is surprising me with the dinner location, again. Cocoa Bean will be our delicious dessert, and instead of ring shopping we're planning a cozy night with an old romantic movie (we're thinking "An Affair to Remember" or something equally classy).

I keep planning outfit after outfit. No one tell me I have to pick just one.

And I just couldn't resist the cute boxes of class Valentines so I got some classy Batman Valentines and I'm whipping up these pink beauties for our family and friends. Hopefully Cupid smiles upon me in this quest.

Love LOVE and love you all!

Tasting My Own Medicine...

Miss Katie suggested that I answer my own questions from the "Tagged" post. I suppose I shouldn't ask people to do something I wouldn't... so here goes.

1. Last book you read? Memoirs of a Geisha - to brush up on Asian culture before I taught my Asia unit. Currently reading I Am Legend, which is weird and good.
2. Favorite song right now? Somebody that I Used to Know - Gotye. Ryan's so sick of it.
3. Favorite place to shop? I'm a big online shopper. But as far as stores go, I know I'll always find several things I love at Forever 21. It's a cheap weakness.
4. Best purchase ever? Do I sound worthless if I say our TV? We got an awesome deal on it and I use it every day for The Office, Just Dance, Wii and Kickboxing. I love it. So much.
5. Most embarrassing moment, please. Totally choking and forgetting the words to the National Anthem at a softball game. It was years before I could even TALK about it.
6. First kiss story. May NOT be the same as #5. I was 16. I had been dating my boyfriend for a few months, neither of us had ever kissed anyone and we were super nervous about it. I'm pretty sure everyone knew we were gonna have our first kiss soon. It was like a random Thursday afternoon, we'd been doing homework at his house (torrid romance, obviously). I had to go home, probably for dinner, so he walked me out to my car. He just kept hugging me and I was like "Oh no. Not now. Not here. Not with the kids on their Razor scooters across the street." But he wouldn't let me go and, with my eyes open, planted the most flat, weird kiss ever on me. I guess I should be grateful it wasn't wet. Although I was scandalized the first time he stuck his tongue in my mouth. TMI. Not really sure who is actually reading this post. Anyways. Within 24 hours EVERYONE knew we'd kissed. And the rest is high school history, meaning we had a big emotional breakup a while later.
7. Grossest food you've ever eaten? I once choked down gross greasy tacos at a really gross unclean house because it was a team lunch. I felt sick for days. I was certain I was going to get mad cow, botulism or some other awful unclean disease.
8. What is your next vacation? What are your plans? We are contemplating a cruise for our 1 year anniversary in July, so I'm having a blast psuedo-planning that whole thing. But more realistically, we'll probably head down to St. George during Spring Break in like 6 weeks. Plans = eat, sleep, swim. Repeat. Can't wait.
9. Favorite blog that you follow? Hard to choose. I follow well over 100 and I like them for different reasons. Famous people - Kendi Everyday, The Daybook, The Rockstar Diaries. Friends - Eliesa, Courtney and Jeanette make me smile and laugh.
10. Celebrity you'd most like to punch in the face? I don't watch the Kardashian reality bullcrap TV, but I'd really like to punch Kim, I think.
11. Something you LOVE that you're embarrassed about? I used to be really secretive about how much I loved Gossip Girl (Seasons 1-3).

Tagged... I'm it.

I've seen these challenges, and never been tagged. I feel honored and also a little bit like I lost the tag game. Thanks, Karlie!

Here are the rules of the challenge:

1 - you must post the rules.

2 - post eleven fun facts about yourself on the blog post

3 - answer the eleven questions the tagger set for you in their post

4 - create eleven new questions to ask the people you've tagged

5 - tag eleven people and link them on your post

6 - let them know you've tagged them!

11 Fun Facts About Me

1. I eat more microwave popcorn than anyone you know.
2. I have an extremely obsessive personality. When I love something, I LOVE IT. Too much. A little like a crazy person.
3. Due to my obsessive love of The Office (see #2), I regularly dream in full, original Office episodes. And they are hilarious! I always think about writing actual scripts and sending them to NBC. Maybe one day I will.
4. I use Pinterest for everything. Seriously.
5. Lately, I wake up at 4 am on the dot every morning, regardless of when I go to bed. Whyyyyy?
6. I loved sports and always will, but during college I got super into yoga and now I'm getting into kickboxing.
7. As much as I love the concept of a Zombie Apocalypse, if I ever have to "roug
   h it" I'll just cover myself in honey and lay down in front of a bear. Not worth it.
8. I have earned over 600 stars on Just Dance 3.
9. I have wanted to be a drummer since I was 6 years old. Meg White style.
10. At any given moment, there is a 70% chance I'm picking at my split ends.
11. I think I'm addicted to fashion magazines. And blogs.

Karlie's 11 Questions

1. How many kids do you want to have?

Right now? None. I'm kind of terrified of kids. I have "daymares" where I accidentally drop my babies on their heads. Part of me is scared I'll never get past that. But I know I will. In the future, maybe 2-3? Ryan wants a whole baseball team....

2. What is the number one quality you look for in a spouse?

Humor, always. Ryan and I love some quote that says something like "a relationship based on playfulness will last forever."

3. What is your favorite picture of all time? (Either post it or explain it)

4. What do you cook most often for dinner? (I need some ideas...preferably easy ideas)

The Beard loves mac n cheese more than anything, so I do a ton of variations of that. The next most common is what we like to call "Asian Wok Adventure," usually every Friday night if we don't make plans. It's fried rice, potstickers and whatever style Asian dish we want - General Tso's, Orange Chicken, etc.

5. What is your favorite craft you have ever done? (Will you teach me how to do it, I'm on a craft kick right now. Thanks)

I have never done a craft in my life and I suck at it. My cousin Chelsey is amazing at it though. She basically decorated her entire house in the cutest urban style and all homemade. Check her blog.

6. What has been your favorite date you have ever been on?

The Beard and I had been pseudo-dating for like 8 months, but had never really done a "real date." When we finally became "official," we went on a few "real dates" to "consummate" our relationship. My favorite one was a couple of weeks after we had been officially dating. He told me we were going on a nice date, but kept it a secret. He picked me up, in a nice shirt and his fancy jeans (embarrassing, honey?) and took me to his favorite Italian place, La Dolce Vita, which later became our "spot." (Really sorry for all the quotation marks.) Then he surprised me by taking me to see Easy A, because he hates movies. It was so simple and regular, but he made a real effort and it was just so sweet. I remember smiling for days.

7. How often do you change the sheets on your bed?

Not enough? He loves nothing more than a freshly made clean bed. I really try to get it every couple of weeks, but I need to improve.

8. Which is better - cherry, watermelon, strawberry?

Raspberry.

9. Is Pearl an old person name? How about Ruby?

I will admit I think of a little old lady that is trying to give me some stale chocolate. I really like the name Ruby though.

10. Does the future scare you? Why or why not?

The future involving kids, yes. Otherwise, no. I really do have faith that everything is going to be awesome, even though we have no idea what we'll be doing even next fall. And I know that at some point I will feel better about having little ones.

11. What do you like more of in blogs, pictures or words?

It depends. On my fashion blogs - pictures all the way. But with the humor and narrative blogs, I love great stories and fun messages.

Here are the friends that I tag....

1. Eliesa. Bestie
2. Courtney Bestie
3. Jeanette Bestie
4. Katie S. Bestie
5. Katie A. Married Besties
6. Cristina, English Teacher Extraordinare
7. Chelsey, Cousin/Sister-in-law
8. Kaybri, High school sensation
9. Meg from Pinker on My Side
10. Lisa Nickle, funniest person I've never met
11. Tayler from Wales

My 11 Questions

1. Last book you read?
2. Favorite song right now?
3. Favorite place to shop?
4. Best purchase ever?
5. Most embarrassing moment, please.
6. First kiss story. May NOT be the same as #5.
7. Grossest food you've ever eaten?
8. What is your next vacation? What are your plans?
9. Favorite blog that you follow?
10. Celebrity you'd most like to punch in the face?
11. Something you LOVE that you're embarrassed about?

Thanks, all!

Thank You For Flying Personal Progress Airlines

For New Beginnings on Tuesday, our theme was "Fly into the Future" or something like that. Everything was airline/travel/trip themed. All of the Young Women leaders dressed as flight attendants and at the end we had little carts to take down the rows with cookies and drinks. It was actually pretty awesome. I think I make a prettyyyyyyyy good flight attendant.

Obviously I am not one of those daily outfit bloggers. What gave it away? The red eyes? Random pose in front of a clock wall? Iphone quality image? Lack of any image editing?

General awkwardness?

Confucius Say...

On Monday we learned about Confucianism, so I had the kids read some Confucian sayings and then write their own. This was the best idea I ever had because they wrote some great and hilarious stuff.

Actual Confucian Sayings:

• Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

• The superior man acts before he speaks, and afterward speaks according to his actions.

• Choose a job you love and you will never work a single day in your life.

• A lion chased me up a tree, and I greatly enjoyed the view from the top.

My kids' Confucian Sayings:

• Girls are like war, dangerous and unpredictable.
• Nature is beautiful because it chose to be.
• Boys are like Pop-Tarts-- They're better when they're hot! (LOL LOL)
• If you look at the ground you'll never see a rainbow.
• Seek to express, not impress.
• Chocolate makes a moment perfect.
• Don't wait for a miracle - become one.
• If you have haters, then you're doing something right.
• No matter how good you are at something, there's always an Asian better than you.

I think the mix of hilarious and poignant is a great snapshot of what life is like here at the junior high. :)

Its Like a Metaphor...

At my new (baby) teacher meeting today they had us write a metaphor or simile for our first year of teaching.

Mine won. Suck on this, snobby English interns.

"My first year of teaching is the perpetual moment when you realize your chair is about to topple, while you balance a giant tub of popcorn, stack of papers and an icy Diet Coke in your lap."