Our Fake Baby, Apollo

Yesterday, I listed "Apollo" as one of the "odd things" in my house and promised an explanation - here goes.

When Ryan & I were engaged, so were our besties, Brad & Eliesa. My other bestie, Katie, was pregnant with her little sweetheart Diva Eva. And the three of us - Katie, Eliesa & I, worked at the LAO.

During the summer months it got really boring, especially in the afternoons. We'd find things to keep us entertained when everyone was gone.

• Online Typing Tests
• Tomhaverfoods.com
• Stalking singles ward members
• Creating/posting for BYUStyle
• Running to the South End Market, AKA "South of the Border" for Diet Coke

But the weirdest turn those afternoons ever took was the day we created Apollo.

Katie was pregnant and we were talking about ugly babies. Because there are ugly babies. You know there are. We all like to pretend like babies are all perfect and beautiful, but the fact is that some babies are just scary and, as my dad would say "Give that monkey a banana."

To be sure that her baby wouldn't be ugly, she found a free site that takes photos of two interested parties and shows what their theoretical child would look like. If I'm remembering correctly, the first few came out looking troll-like, even though Katie and TJ are goodlooking people. Eliesa joined in with pictures of her and Brad, similar results. I'm serious. Go look at the babies on the front page of the website and you'll see what I mean.

They asked me several times to join in, but I wasn't having it. I was (and still slightly am) terrified of babies and being a mother. I didn't like to think about it. On top of that, my mother-in-law was (and still completely is) all about being a grandma.

Eventually, they pulled pictures of Ryan and me from Facebook and just did it for us. I was pretty scared actually, after seeing so many weird combinations from my friends, all of whom I thought were above average looking people.

But then, they showed me this. And I got over my baby fear. For about 15 seconds. I mean. Look at those curls and that devious little smile?

I emailed it to Ryan, who promptly named him Apollo and forwarded him to my mother-in-law, who promptly printed him out and taped him to her computer. She still affectionately refers to him as her "Little Grandbaby Apollo, who like Mac n Cheese and brings sticks in the house."

He now hangs on our fridge - each day making me slightly less scared for becoming parents.

Until I see a kid screaming uncontrollably at Walmart and then puke all down his front.

Reset button.

I Love Pinterest but I Hate Kids

I express my fears about kids all the time. ALL the time. I fully believe that I will get over that at some point. I mean, I've come a long way in the last few months. I can even talk about potentially having kids, how we want to do things, etc.

For example, we strongly agree that we will keep it a secret as long as possible when we are expecting. Also we're not going to have a gross or ridiculous announcement. You're welcome.

But this poses a problem. I've always been 100% against girls who are obsessed with babies on Pinterest and make multiple boards for these phantom babies they don't have. Especially unmarried girls. You're not going to hide the crazy that way, ladies. The only exception to this rule is my bestie Eliesa, because she pins everything and has impeccable taste (Follow her boards). Also she's going to be an ultimate mom.

I will NOT be seen as baby crazy; I refuse. BUT. What about when I DO get pregnant and want to start pinning baby crap? IT WILL BE A DEAD GIVEAWAY!!!!! I want to keep it a dramatic whispered secret.

Should I start pinning baby shiz now so that I can shield my secrets in the future? Continue fighting the baby craze? Create a secret Pinterest account for my dirty little secret baby pins?

First World Probs.